Even after I found out about him, I tried to fight for this family. I loved her more than it hurt me. When I tell you I never thought I'd be the kind of guy to stick with a cheater, there are circumstances people never imagine to test those theories.

i can't imagine what you went through emotionally. this all seems insane to me how she'd do this to such a good man and father.

if you can't use that evidence, how else are you going to argue that you should have main custody of your kids?

We had equal time over the past few years due to work schedule, so they are comparable. I spend time with the kids in terms of homework, church, playtime and house projects. Remember, I'm not fighting for sole custody.

I feel I can prove my good fatherdom, using testimonials and other things - the time I've spent with my oldest, for example, on homework has had to contribute in some way to her earning the highest grade level in the school four years in a row. They ran out of words her grade in the spelling bee when it came down to her and one other child. She is my co-instructor in my church Taekwondo class (with me)

I see, well using testimonials is a good plan then since all the help you're getting points to you being a good man and father and the judge will see that

There's more, obviously, but at the end of the day, I consider the divorce process separate from the custody process

If you don't win this then there is something seriously wrong with the custody system

And there is...that's the problem. The article I was reading about the statistics may not be proof, but it does not inspire hope

The only thing that I cling to is that I am good, and have been doing good.

agreed, if only there was a way for you to show that you're more capable as a father, with better intentions for your kids than she is

apart from testimonials i mean

are either of your or her family getting involved in this at all?

or is your family not in the area where you are?

They are far, but they've provided me support. Her mother loves me and has helped when she could, but has been taken from the middle (I presume at the behest or control of the stbxw). Her mother actually was a person I got council from, as someone also hurt by infidelity in her own marriage, and she bailed me out of jail when the incident occurred.

wow so really your stbxw really is trying to take everything from you

were you and her mom close?

it sucks to hear your family is not close to you geographically

are they not able to help financially so you can get a lawyer?

They can, but the retainers are in the 3k range, and I'm still sorting out rent/utilities and prepping for child support myself. I still don't have a car, and am not expecting much in taxes.

The 3k will run out quick at 175/hour, too.

Her mom and I were close.

That's her daughter though. Regardless of what's happened, who am I to expect her to choose someone over her own daughter?

yeah it's a lot to keep in mind, and i'm sorry for the interrogation and all the questions, your situation is just very complex it seems and gripping to me

i really feel for you, i'll be sure to send my prayers and thoughts to you every day

I'd offer to help financially but I'm no Rockefeller lol

Trust me, I know the feeling. It's amazing that kids' lives in the balance, it's not about right/wrong/justice...too much is determined by money

yep money talks unfortunately

cruel reality of this world, no matter how good you are

Question for ga people. My wife constantly call my job lying about things. Its starting to get annoying is there anything i can do

Are you separated?

What kind of things?

If you're going through a divorce you should tell your lawyer. They may be able to file paperwork against her like a harassment order

@Night Terror

ok i will let my lawyer know

Yeah, you can do things about that for sure. It is actually likely a good sign.

Men get the shaft :(

@Night Terror if you have a supervisor you trust with details, check to see if anything can be recorded with your work. Maybe check in with HR.

In GA, if one party consents to a recording (you in this instance) then it can count as evidence. That doesn't save you from getting in trouble at work for breaking their rules, though

If it's cool to record with work, get her to say stuff to use against her. Be like, "didn't you come here last week? Didn't you ask the same stuff? I know I told you I didn't want you coming around here!"

@Night Terror I don't knownabiut your area, but innminen you can get a civil stay away order. Bascically ardernthstnsaysnyou two have to stay away / not harrassneacjother under penalty if contempt of court.