i guess i will have to prove her wrong

hey all, so my attorneys sent a proposal to my stbx and if she agrees, we can both put all this behind us in 30-40 days i'm being told.

so then i get my latest monthly bill asking for even larger retainer?

wtf, if we are about to wrap this up, why do they need even more money?

i'm about to drop these fucking leeches and try and talk some sense into my wife

Mmm, idk, maybe they think she won't agree but her lawyer and them are trying to talk it over? Do they give a reason for the increased amount, maybe it's like, the last one?

Be careful with your communications. Don’t want anything used against you.

^

ya i know and she was really angry at me

posted on social media that she will do w/e it takes to see me broke and homeless

how's that for a nice fuck off

thing is i could be splitting our meager savings with her instead of being financially raped by these lawyers

i'm so fucking pissed now

Well she's only hurting herself with that attitude... Beggers belief an attitude like that. Can't that be used in court though her saying that?

ya i took screenshots of everything, until my therapist told me to stop looking at her hateful shit which was stressing me out

there's possibility of defamation case but not worth it since she has not money. but they told her to remove her posts b/c all this public shaming can prevent me from getting work

I'd keep it up with those screenshots and use them in a defamation case and the divorce if I were you! You can use archive.is too. Winning that would be a real de-stress because you could use the money to go on holiday or something.

Yeah, definitely use them during the proceedings if she continues to be unreasonable

Sup comrades. Blessings and prosperity upon all of you.

Hope you are doing well @Dan da Dad

I very much am. My house situation has vastly improved in the recent months, and I've finally gotten to see my daughters lately

hey good for you man. any good news is awesome news here.

i have a potentially stupid question. only b/c an attorney actually implied it - didn't go with him btw

but since my ex is building up massive debt which i could potentially be responsible for paying, should i not give zero fucks and just max out my credit cards as well. i already know its dumb but shit if she's going to go for broke might as well too. that aforementioned lawyer was like if anytime is a good time to spend money, it would be right before the divorce is finalized - something to that extent

@Dan da Dad that's great mate, wondered where ya had gone to! Glad it is working out, I thought the vanishing act might have been a bad sign!

Excellent man!

@ChitwnRogue I'm finding some contrary information about it when searching for that topic online... Some places encourage litigation if things are easily traceable and can be taken into account. Others say that the extra cost of that litigation can just mean you end up spending more

Whether you should spend money personally, is it really going to help?

Sadly, the only likely outcome of doing so *seems* to be that you both lose out. If things are being used for non marital purposes and that can be shown for joint finances, it looks like it's possible those things can be still be counted as assets given to that partner in the settlement

So, the settlement amount would be less

But, really, don't take this as legal advice because I'm not qualified to give it, this is just my interpretation from some light reading

ok, i knew it didn't make sense. just needed reminding why, plus i think i drank half my braincells away in my youth

i've been spending very little , only what's necessary. but i just wanted to splurge a little on gaming and some new shoes. a minor blip compared to what she's spending. thnx

Yep, while frugality is principled, and especially because she's likely to get more than half of whatever assets are left anyways, you're getting effectively a matched dollar from the joint assets on every dollar you spend (because only the final assets are split), unless you're really abusing shit and it somehow ends up acknowledged in the settlement, or the courts catch onto an attempt to hook the other party with the costs. It does however, usually work, and this is one reason why divorce lawyers can end up absorbing much of a couple's estate over the course of litigation and have a fundamental conflict of interest with the divorcing parties. It also may account for her spending spree.

I am not a laywer, of course

@Dan da Dad does that mean something important in overall battle, or is it an enforced order that you don't think will impact future decisions? Either way, sounds good!

@Dan da Dad That's amazing news! I'm glad to hear it!

@ChitwnRogue If you can take out money from your account at a higher rate and hide a bit of it where she can't get it as cash, that would probably work as long as it isn't extreme. I would not advise maxing out your credit cards as that is a debt that will cost you long term. A better bet is to maybe get a friend to look after a few of your more valuable things and tell the judge that they were gifts. You can get them back later. I realise that that is dishonest, but dishonesty and favouritism are unfortunately the name of the game here. Since you will be the one paying for any children,.it does not make sense for her to get everything else too.

@ChitwnRogue or just dont be petty and be an adult and let her dig herself in a hole.

@Night Terror that's what I'm actually doing now. I just need new shoes that's all.

Daddy needs a new pair of shoes! xD