The ending is very good

Only the beginning need some edits

I think mind was cut off, but I got wrapped up in talking about the start

That would depend on the title thogh

For me it ends "boys in the start ..."

That is really weird

I can't even find where that phrase is in the article

I'm sure it's just my useless phone

I can't either

This is the one that never seems to break though, so I keep using it

I had two edges, but they both broke as soon as they were dropped

Tell you what ill screenshot just so you know I'm not full of shit

Cut off at a different point this time

My apologies for not being good enough to display the full fruits of your efforts

You're basically at the end in that screenshot

Your studies I've looked into. They're good.

Your opening still need work.

"Now, there are other issues boys face in education, but most of those are somewhat removed from the actual schooling. The effect of fatherlessness for example, may very well dwarf everything I've mentioned in the article so far, but that isn't something the school systems themselves can deal with. In any case, that topic is for another article."

That's the final paragraph

so you have the whole thing more or less

Thanks for the feedback, I'll give the opening another shot

And thanks @Indigo for the ideas

Now basically, hopefully, I'll have someone take issue with something in the middle in the next while or at the next revision

Just make the opening flow, mate. It has to sound natural. Don't make it sound like a study itself cause it's not

Being too factual will turn people away

If you can't say it out loud, don't write it

That's a rather unorthodox way of explaining what I mean and I hope it makes sense

It's so understated that the style of writing is something that matters most... No one will pay attention if they back out after the first few words

It's so important.

You know, men tend to be more concise with this. Give better studies etc. Instead though it's more persuasive to write more personably

yeah, haha

well, I mean I don't know about the generalization, but yeah

You'd benefit from going to a persuasive writing course

Oh I have no interest in that

My pursuasive writing is mostly for the sole benefit of randos on internet forums

Sorry, definitely not trying to be critical as such! I remember I said I respected those who pursued English as a career, perhaps that's only cause I've done so lol

stop worrying about my feelings damnit

Never

Just cause you're a man doesnt mean they're not worthwhile

O-okay, I mean, stop fussing haha, better?