Message from @Indigo
Discord ID: 521684562716393484
Although relative disadvantage is pretty useful when demonstrating that there is a problem, it is difficult when it comes to making the issue matter. Because relative disadvantage doesn't really matter by itself
But at the same time
I don't really have numbers, data on the real impact on boys for any of this.
So perhaps simply being at a disadvantage is all I can make a direct point
Relative disadvantage would had mattered a lot if it was girls that were disadvantaged
Yes, yes it would
We can call it a disadvantage then
Sure
Sorry, I was thinking aloud, the gist of the paper probably ultimately is boys being at a disadvantage
I'm just slightly dissatisfied with stopping there
but also want to keep very grounded in evidence
@asparkofpyrokravte I bet it seems like it's getting ridiculously long to 'get it right'... But it's worth it mate
I'm sorry to have told you that it seems wrong. But you need to know
Buddy, I'm literally asking for it
Doesn't make me not feel bad about it lol. It's like, you know its wrong but dont wanna offend someone who's obviously trying hard!!
Your effort is so worthwhile, I can't really write it for you and please keep on :3
I have finished reading the article
The ending is very good
Only the beginning need some edits
I think mind was cut off, but I got wrapped up in talking about the start
For me it ends "boys in the start ..."
That is really weird
I can't even find where that phrase is in the article
I'm sure it's just my useless phone
I can't either
This is the one that never seems to break though, so I keep using it
I had two edges, but they both broke as soon as they were dropped
Tell you what ill screenshot just so you know I'm not full of shit
Cut off at a different point this time
My apologies for not being good enough to display the full fruits of your efforts
You're basically at the end in that screenshot
Your studies I've looked into. They're good.
Your opening still need work.
"Now, there are other issues boys face in education, but most of those are somewhat removed from the actual schooling. The effect of fatherlessness for example, may very well dwarf everything I've mentioned in the article so far, but that isn't something the school systems themselves can deal with. In any case, that topic is for another article."
That's the final paragraph
so you have the whole thing more or less
Thanks for the feedback, I'll give the opening another shot
And thanks @Indigo for the ideas
Now basically, hopefully, I'll have someone take issue with something in the middle in the next while or at the next revision