and ok, this is bad a man has died

Yeah, pretty much

but like, he might be in a better place now

Hope he is
This shithole is like Hell, but with less fire and junkies and drug dealers instead of demons

how big is your village?

Pretty small, less than 1000 people, don't know the full amount, but I feel like more people either leave or die than arrive or get born here

ever think on leaving?

Don't have an option but to stay
No money, nowhere to really go outside of here as most of the normal towns and villages are far away and I don't know if it's possible to find a good and cheap house to buy even in the nearby villages, and if I were to try and find my relatives, even if I was successful, I'd just be rejected or stay but become a financial burden for them since I'm unemployable for most normal jobs (no proper qualification plus I'm officially considered as disabled because of my autism)

My dude

You said you drink a lot

True?

Yeah, the money that's left over from the disability benefits after paying for the bills goes to buy food, the money I earn daily goes for alcohol, small shit like SIM card payments, medication in case I get sick, taxi travel and rarely videogames, in some cases for food too if I want to buy more than I usually do

You need food

How often do you drink?

Pretty much every day or with 1-day breaks, I don't know how my liver hasn't failed or developed cancer yet, kek

@KhromosomeKing wanna stop?

I did, but I failed most of the times I tried to
Besides, it helps me prevent myself from falling into existential dread

i almost kill my self over the summer

@jeFF why?

just felt done with everything and everyone

only really didn't it because I felt it wasn't worth doing it cause I was so just down I had no motivation for anything, even ending it

I know that feel

No motivation, inspiration, doing the daily routine wondering when it's gonna end

You gotta break the cycle

I did break the cycle

actually doing pretty well currently

Nice

Same situation

Stuck at a job a I hated for 2.5 years

Felt like I was going nowhere

Turned intp a doomer

Decided I wanted to do something different

Became a truck driver and now I'm doing what I love

I'm at peace with my life now, I'm truly a happy soul

a couple days after I was really thinking about it, some of the people i would hang out with at school texted me and invited me to a groupchat

and then like the next week we all hung out and had a great time.

Group chats are the best

the group has kinda fallen apart

This group chat is all I really have in terms of being social while driving over the road

oof

But I mostly have my mind on the job