Okay so like, I really, really have been hating myself a lot recently, and I’ve been feeling like utter garbage for as long as I remember. And like

With all the shit that’s been going on with myself and questioning who I am while also questioning if I’m meant to be alone. Alone with the death of my friend and the feeling of existential dread always creeping on me anywhere anytime just fucking makes me hurt like hell inside

I just needed this off my chest,

Sorry for the inconvenience

It's fine fam. Nothing wrong with letting it all out. And I'm sorry for your loss

it’s okay, im just down is all

Just, you know that feeling when everything seems wrong? Like nothing exists properly In your tiny little world, and then at the worst time it begins to shrink, and the population just depletes like hell, and it’s fucking just so strange and alone, and you just don’t know what to do so you’re just sitting and waiting for it to end

That's how I was a few months back. The thing that i learned is that people grow distant, we drift apart, and move on. That's how it always is and that's what I've realised as of recently. Kinda why I've been forcing myself into becoming social, or at the very least try my hand at small talk. The point is you can't let these things get to you, for a brief moment everything can seem as though everything is out to get. As though nothing is gonna go right. But just know that eventually these things will come to pass. You just need to push through is all.

How i feel sitting in my garage on run breaks wondering if i should message my group to see how they've been

<:wojak:465443000294703104>

I know we're pretty much done being a group and I've accepted that, but i should at least ask how they've been holding up, i know what two of my closest friends been up to (one quit smoking and is in a relationship, the other is enjoying life in college and becoming social) but the other two i don't really know how they've been

||`don't need an answer from my cousin as i have an idea on wtf they've been doing`||

It's good to just ask how they are

Go for it if you want

Probably will

Alright, enjoy your run

Jesus fuck

My brother got in a car crash

Only injuries he sustained was just a scrapped up arm and a sore neck

Holy hell, good to hear that he's alive

I’m glad nothing of serious harm came to your brother, was the wreck bad?

Yeah the car was pretty fucked up

His buddy broke his collar bone but he’ll live

Lucky as fuck

I was in a nasty car accident when I was 7

I’m hella paranoid behind the wheel

I’m also a HMMVW and LMTV driver in the Army too

Still paranoid when driving those

Despite being trained and qualified to do so

https://youtu.be/FBca33v8oGM

Coal added me as a friend after he left the server

And he's all "don't kill yourself!!! you don't deserve to die!!! that guy you like didn't tell you it's not your faaaaaaaultttt!!!"
god bless you Coal, thinking that I have only one motive and one inclination to off myself

Thats some very weird behaivior.

It's Coal though, so I kinda

God bless him and it's mean to say this, but he's very wimpy and overreactive

Much more so than I am lol

He needs to mature a bit and learn

No hard feelings

Again, god bless him but he's the type that's easy to take advantage of

Yep