I did had a panic attack 5 yrs ago

People need rules

Their own set of rules

It's not something you can always control

I tried to, but I broke down. But after that, I felt better.

@Happy Humble Hermit I suck at trying to explain thing in type, I'm trying to say for example as MONK we have rules and those rules keep us straight and happy. What is that called?

I've learned how to control. But I learned so well that now I'm subject to heavy procrastination

Got it last year when I found out that my ex had cheated on me

Repressed anxiety or emotions always find a way to manifest themselves in various nasty ways

I've never had a panic attack so I can't speak to it

I'm just talking about general uneasiness

Me either

Well, that, yeah

So you can't possibly understand how a person with panic attacks feel. But in no ways I'm saying you should let it control you. Rather the opposite.

We all have **some** mental illness.

No one is perfect.

The mental illness is called human

I only have 18 k left and my ransom is paid then I'm free guys out of baby jail👀 👀 👀

Humans aren't inherently bad. I just hate human nature sometimes.

Get free muh brudda

WOOOOOOOO

About time

I agree with HHH. I do need to learn how to be comfortable in my own skin and love myself. Be my own best friend. Mgtow is helping me with that so much i feel like. Abd talking with you peeps helps a lot too. We likely will never meet in real life but i consider you all friends and confidants. I may not talk openly about everything, this isn't meant to be a safe space but I'm comfortable talking about a lot of personal things. And i tend to always get good feed back.

Usually when they send me the statement I just chuck it. But I opened to see what they been sayin lol and it my balance just under 19k

This has been a long fucked up road but I see the light at the end of the tunnel

Balance for what if i may ask? Student loan debt?

Child support

I call it my ransom

Hermit did you deal with ur anxiety by creating HHH?

Titty ass hands

Stoicism.

Letting go of things you can't control and focusing on things you can control.

Oh, okay. Well I'm happy for you. 19k is a lot of money to me, but it sounds like it's managable for you. @shango

Well I been paying 500 a month since 1996.

Gae

Goddamn.

This shit has had my DL suspended many times, had me jailed 3 times, and has had me financially crippled. So to me we are at 19k counting down to 0

And I have to say that I'm happy to count down and be free, with this group.

Jesus. My dad was liable for 1000/mo for 3 kids. But that was un the 90s. Today he would be shelling out over 1500. Thats almost as much as I make a month.

That's a nice ass condo payment right there

It's a killer, it will try to break you. You just can't let it. When I was in the Valley a lot of things went through my head. I decided to live in spite. In spite of a broken system that hates me, in spite of I don't have a pot to piss in of a window to through it out.... I know I'm the first man pushed that far and I'm not doing bc they want me to.... I live in spite.... living in spite makes me happy.