If I should ever be blessed enough to raise my own son, I will make efforts to have intimate conversations with him as much as I possibly can.

Doesn't it just depend on the person? Why are we treating it like there is one formula to this all

I can think of times in my own life where my father being distant and disciplinarian hurt me greatly

It's a basic formula that can cover it all. I'm not saying dont have intellectual conversations or dont show any compassion or disciplinarian actions. I don't know the word for it but you can be "human" as a father and not some robot animal monkey caveman. "Unga dunga skint knee is not broken leg, you heal good keep running"

There are tips on how to be a better person (and by extension, parent) by expanding on good qualities, developing lacking ones and minimising bad qualities. The religious formula we have here is a recommended guideline. Yes, it is probably a good idea to keep calm in financial matters. Remain stoic around the bills

When you say he was distant what do you mean? @Orthodox Andy

I remember mustering up the courage to come forth about some awful mental health problems I was having in high school, and my dad just brushed it off as teenage angst

that hurt me greatly at the time

How did your mom talk about your dad?

We make fun of him, but that's mostly just a meme.

Do you love your dad?

Yes, of course

How does your dad talk about your mom? And similar memes?

He didn't know how to handle it then because he must have suffered from it too but suppressed it. Suppressing it with a notion about the fact that you aren't supposed to be emotional or whatever but you can be it's just over baby stuff. Like skinning your knee or if your a teen the anxiety of wondering if your balls smell to much through your shorts in class. "No son they aren't just wash well and it'll be alright don't worry"

It's usually a chain of generations getting the wrong teachings in how to act and such. These fallen states usually breed the types of bad parenting. You can't blame your mom or dad for how you turned out because it isn't your fault or their fault. But trust and faith in God and taking time in prayer and self awareness will help you realize what you need in your life instead of getting caught up in your thoughts and having them manifest in misbehaviors, self doubt, anxiety, and stresses.

My dad literally just left

I'm determined to be a better father than he was at least

Don't resent him or hate him for it or you'll end up just like him

If you can, find him and forgive him for not being there for you and whatever he's dealing with or going through, wish him well. You have your own life to live. And with that determination be the man you're meant to be through God's will.

@willy same for me, dear fellow.

I dont feel any resentment towards him

At this point I just regard him as any other person

He's your dad, give him the least respect and in yourself name him your father. You disowning him is resentment for him not being there.

I suppose so

When I was growing up I didnt have a Dad or Mom I lived with my aunt. She won custody of me when I was 2. I'm not trying to play some one up game but the point is I resented him for the longest time of being unfit to take care of me. I don't know why he didnt and it's all confusing but in making me I appreciate the love he gave trying to give me by literally making me, he felt the need to have another kid. I didn't consider him a father either for a lot of my life. When I met him again at my uncle's funeral the first thing I did when he called me from across the room was I went up to him and hugged him, and even though he's deaf I told him I loved him, my aunt from a young age taught me how to say I love you in sign language and it meant something deeper finally to tell my own father that.

I'd rather live my life knowing I have a failed father and loving him rather than being a bastard in my own mind and hating seeing my friends with their fathers and the good relationships they have. Now I can actually feel happy seeing my friends and their fathers and hang out normally. It's all an internal conflict that you create within yourself because of your thoughts.

My Dad flew off to Thailand last year and is fornicating, miscegenating and binge drinking daily

Pretty epic

I bet he feels cool.

It's all ego. Your thoughts bring you up to put you down. You could be having suicidal thoughts over whatever one night and the following day look at yourself in the mirror thinking so good about yourself.

You are not your thoughts.

Thank God my father has become God-fearing

He nearly died because of his addiction to drinking

But that was enough to change him

When you don't seek God's grace you're entitled to suffer and die

Pati et mori.

Y'all how do I respond to this?

"I do not think that the Judeo-Christian God holds life itself as inherently valuable, good or immutable. That God seems to take and give life to suit God, and no other, often picking favorites, only to later have them murdered for the glory of it. For all other life it would seem that God is indifferent at best, and cruel at worst."

(Aside from MuH pRoBlEm Of EvIl)

God giveth and God taketh away

Our most holy Creator knows exactly what is best for you

God is omnibenevolent, as the most maximal being, therefore is incapable of taking life as a matter of cruelty or apathy.

also