"I'm going to the gym with my sister" *well I wanted to stay home and watch TV with you :((((* "Come to the gym with us" *no, you guys work out too hard and I feel bad about myself* "Well, come with and learn how to get fit" *no and I mad at you. Fuck off and do what you want.* "Cool, aight, later"

Get home and she wants my attention the whole time, I give it, tomorrow night she's going to the gym with one of her girlfriends

Totally her call I didn't initiate that

@Bodark Actual I guess I need to do that more aggressively?

But I've been doing that shit with her since September

Don't be aggressive in that you argue or fight with her, just tell her what you're doing, invite her to be involved, and when she tries to make you unhappy and feel bad so she can keep being stagnant then just tell he you're doing your thing and so it

Make your happiness a real priority

Remember that her trying to initiate a fight with you over you doing something strictly to your benefit is akin to her throwing a tantrum because she doesn't like herself and she doesn't want you to like yourself either

@Bodark Actual I'll reevaluate if I've been consistent in doing that but I've definitely done that in the past.

Oh she doesnt, one of the fights we got in a few weeks ago was over that

I asked if she loved herself

She said no

Of course not

She asked if I found her attractive. I fucked up and said she needed to loose some weight (my bad, shouldn't have been that brutal)

No

Don't feel bad about that

I would have asked her if she feels attractive

Put all her projected issues back on her

I can try that

"Do you think I'm attractive?" Do YOU think you're attractive? "Well, no, I hate how I look." So are you asking me to give you validation for something? "Why won't you answer my question?" Because your question isn't given in good faith and is more about you than it is me. *And then shut the fuck up and go find something to do*

Leave the conversation at that point

She will kick and scream and try to get you to fight her

Don't even play

Btw I mean -you- STFU and find something to do, not that you tell her to do that lmao

Ask @Deadbeat Radio, I'm zen as fuck. Its not even like I get mad while me and her get into these things. Or upset. It just bothers me this is where my marriage is at. I've valued and honored myself with being faithful for 8 years. Had so many opportunities to stray but a man doesnt do that when he makes an oath....

I'll try flipping the script on her like you suggest though. I already do what I want and am independent in heart. I love the fuck outta myself (not in a sociopathic way)

Good

I'm happy to hear that

And for what it's worth I empathize

Sort of the same boat with my wife but it's getting better

Need her to lose weight tho

You gotta love yourself and stay Rock solid in who you are

And I also get being frustrated with where things are at. I've also had some good chances to get tail but I made a commitment and I'm sticking to that.

@Bodark Actual word. Itll figure itself out eventually. Self correcting issue. Just cant have kids till it gets figured out

Kids wont fix shit, I know that for a fact. And with uncle sam being a sugar daddy, if shit got worse and we had kids, I'd be fucked.

@Bodark Actual also hardest shit in the world is getting a comfortable woman to go to the gym.

@mcguyver123 don't have kids they will inherent her worst qualities right now lol

And yes I agree

@mcguyver123 I'm always here for you bro....

Oh yeah, we broin down

@mcguyver123 is zen af. I've trolled him in real life for half a year to no avail. Really admire that about him. I mean, I know deep down I'm wearing down his armor. Death by a thousand cuts and what not, but he has shown great resilience thus far.

Anyways, @mcguyver123 have you tried beating your wife mercilessly till you pass out, regardless of whether or not she's still conscious? Lol jk

Bro, she is an attention freak. Self victimization is her style of manipulation. "Woe is me"=pity for her. You have a caring soul, bro. You are a wingman at heart, as am I, as well as @Deadbeat Radio . We are attractive to these personality types because they can garner compassion from us easily. And you're getting burned out because it's not really a problem that needs to be solved, it's her style of manipulation to get that compassion, attention, and makes for a good excuse. How would she get those things if she "fixed" herself? This isn't something for you to fix, it's more a matter of her taking responsibility for her own desires and long term actions. Which how likely do you think that will happen after 8 long years of her playing this game successfully with you? Men manipulate in a straightforward manner, we say what we mean upfront. Women, however, play a more subtle game, a more persuasive game, because they are physically lessers. But they have tits, ass, pussy and know men love to play the white knight. She'll play off your compassion to continue her stagnation because she's not a fighter at heart. She's the chronic damsel in distress. She's learned to survive by always needing to be rescued, rather than learning to rescue herself.

@slvr_neo good points.

May need to evaluate how I've handled everything for the last so many years