Message from @Bodark Actual
Discord ID: 672589014758457344
Literally hobbies
@thedarkness05 no shit. Shes "sick" because she doesnt move. I cant convey that to her.
Make *your hobbies* more important than the time she wants to spend with you dicking around at home doing nothing
Literally had his last night
@Bodark Actual that's what I've done for myself.
I'm listening tho
"I'm going to the gym with my sister" *well I wanted to stay home and watch TV with you :((((* "Come to the gym with us" *no, you guys work out too hard and I feel bad about myself* "Well, come with and learn how to get fit" *no and I mad at you. Fuck off and do what you want.* "Cool, aight, later"
Get home and she wants my attention the whole time, I give it, tomorrow night she's going to the gym with one of her girlfriends
Totally her call I didn't initiate that
@Bodark Actual I guess I need to do that more aggressively?
But I've been doing that shit with her since September
Don't be aggressive in that you argue or fight with her, just tell her what you're doing, invite her to be involved, and when she tries to make you unhappy and feel bad so she can keep being stagnant then just tell he you're doing your thing and so it
Make your happiness a real priority
Remember that her trying to initiate a fight with you over you doing something strictly to your benefit is akin to her throwing a tantrum because she doesn't like herself and she doesn't want you to like yourself either
@Bodark Actual I'll reevaluate if I've been consistent in doing that but I've definitely done that in the past.
Oh she doesnt, one of the fights we got in a few weeks ago was over that
I asked if she loved herself
She said no
Of course not
She asked if I found her attractive. I fucked up and said she needed to loose some weight (my bad, shouldn't have been that brutal)
No
I would have asked her if she feels attractive
Put all her projected issues back on her
I can try that
"Do you think I'm attractive?" Do YOU think you're attractive? "Well, no, I hate how I look." So are you asking me to give you validation for something? "Why won't you answer my question?" Because your question isn't given in good faith and is more about you than it is me. *And then shut the fuck up and go find something to do*
Leave the conversation at that point
She will kick and scream and try to get you to fight her
Don't even play
Btw I mean -you- STFU and find something to do, not that you tell her to do that lmao
Ask @Deadbeat Radio, I'm zen as fuck. Its not even like I get mad while me and her get into these things. Or upset. It just bothers me this is where my marriage is at. I've valued and honored myself with being faithful for 8 years. Had so many opportunities to stray but a man doesnt do that when he makes an oath....
I'll try flipping the script on her like you suggest though. I already do what I want and am independent in heart. I love the fuck outta myself (not in a sociopathic way)
Good
I'm happy to hear that
And for what it's worth I empathize
Sort of the same boat with my wife but it's getting better
Need her to lose weight tho
You gotta love yourself and stay Rock solid in who you are
And I also get being frustrated with where things are at. I've also had some good chances to get tail but I made a commitment and I'm sticking to that.
@Bodark Actual word. Itll figure itself out eventually. Self correcting issue. Just cant have kids till it gets figured out
Kids wont fix shit, I know that for a fact. And with uncle sam being a sugar daddy, if shit got worse and we had kids, I'd be fucked.
@Bodark Actual also hardest shit in the world is getting a comfortable woman to go to the gym.
@mcguyver123 don't have kids they will inherent her worst qualities right now lol