Uninterested

No real drive for it

Thats an issue too

So my wife is getting a lot better about that- here's how I fixed it

Literally hobbies

@thedarkness05 no shit. Shes "sick" because she doesnt move. I cant convey that to her.

Make *your hobbies* more important than the time she wants to spend with you dicking around at home doing nothing

Literally had his last night

@Bodark Actual that's what I've done for myself.

I'm listening tho

"I'm going to the gym with my sister" *well I wanted to stay home and watch TV with you :((((* "Come to the gym with us" *no, you guys work out too hard and I feel bad about myself* "Well, come with and learn how to get fit" *no and I mad at you. Fuck off and do what you want.* "Cool, aight, later"

Get home and she wants my attention the whole time, I give it, tomorrow night she's going to the gym with one of her girlfriends

Totally her call I didn't initiate that

@Bodark Actual I guess I need to do that more aggressively?

But I've been doing that shit with her since September

Don't be aggressive in that you argue or fight with her, just tell her what you're doing, invite her to be involved, and when she tries to make you unhappy and feel bad so she can keep being stagnant then just tell he you're doing your thing and so it

Make your happiness a real priority

Remember that her trying to initiate a fight with you over you doing something strictly to your benefit is akin to her throwing a tantrum because she doesn't like herself and she doesn't want you to like yourself either

@Bodark Actual I'll reevaluate if I've been consistent in doing that but I've definitely done that in the past.

Oh she doesnt, one of the fights we got in a few weeks ago was over that

I asked if she loved herself

She said no

Of course not

She asked if I found her attractive. I fucked up and said she needed to loose some weight (my bad, shouldn't have been that brutal)

No

Don't feel bad about that

I would have asked her if she feels attractive

Put all her projected issues back on her

I can try that

"Do you think I'm attractive?" Do YOU think you're attractive? "Well, no, I hate how I look." So are you asking me to give you validation for something? "Why won't you answer my question?" Because your question isn't given in good faith and is more about you than it is me. *And then shut the fuck up and go find something to do*

Leave the conversation at that point

She will kick and scream and try to get you to fight her

Don't even play

Btw I mean -you- STFU and find something to do, not that you tell her to do that lmao

Ask @Deadbeat Radio, I'm zen as fuck. Its not even like I get mad while me and her get into these things. Or upset. It just bothers me this is where my marriage is at. I've valued and honored myself with being faithful for 8 years. Had so many opportunities to stray but a man doesnt do that when he makes an oath....

I'll try flipping the script on her like you suggest though. I already do what I want and am independent in heart. I love the fuck outta myself (not in a sociopathic way)

Good

I'm happy to hear that

And for what it's worth I empathize

Sort of the same boat with my wife but it's getting better

Need her to lose weight tho

You gotta love yourself and stay Rock solid in who you are

And I also get being frustrated with where things are at. I've also had some good chances to get tail but I made a commitment and I'm sticking to that.