Only way is gradual conditioning

Ye

It's a difficult spot. Her childish antics have brought us to no growth.

Am I to blame? To a point, yeah

But I feel like where I'm to blame is not noticing it sooner. Maybe I could have either found a solution or not spent 8 years with her then.

I just dont feel like a "companion" or "spouse" anymore. I have deeper conversations with my boys than my wife

How our women behave is always a direct reflection of who we are as leaders in our home.

And yes, I totally feel that and I often feel the same way about my wife, but the challenge is to make ourselves grow and become better as men through it so that we are fully outcome independent of our attachment to our women.

And btw I'm not shitting on you

Well I mean I usually have deeper convos with y'all too, but thats for different reasons. I think thays normal though

I take full responsibility for my wife developing some retarded behaviors, mostly because I failed to be a good leader

Only because shes incapable of conversation outside of meaningless shit. And I've tried talking about trivial stuff. But it's boring or small talk.

Independent. I'm already there. I told her if we divorced I'd be fine.

Good

Maybe that's it bodark. But I wonder if it's possible too we are just incapable and societal pressures have ruined aspects of marriage in general

That's an issue too

Do you have hobbies? Does she?

She feels and knows she can opera...
Fuck no, she sits around the house when shes not working

I've asked her to go to the gym, to hike, etc.

Uninterested

No real drive for it

Thats an issue too

So my wife is getting a lot better about that- here's how I fixed it

Literally hobbies

@thedarkness05 no shit. Shes "sick" because she doesnt move. I cant convey that to her.

Make *your hobbies* more important than the time she wants to spend with you dicking around at home doing nothing

Literally had his last night

@Bodark Actual that's what I've done for myself.

I'm listening tho

"I'm going to the gym with my sister" *well I wanted to stay home and watch TV with you :((((* "Come to the gym with us" *no, you guys work out too hard and I feel bad about myself* "Well, come with and learn how to get fit" *no and I mad at you. Fuck off and do what you want.* "Cool, aight, later"

Get home and she wants my attention the whole time, I give it, tomorrow night she's going to the gym with one of her girlfriends

Totally her call I didn't initiate that

@Bodark Actual I guess I need to do that more aggressively?

But I've been doing that shit with her since September

Don't be aggressive in that you argue or fight with her, just tell her what you're doing, invite her to be involved, and when she tries to make you unhappy and feel bad so she can keep being stagnant then just tell he you're doing your thing and so it

Make your happiness a real priority

Remember that her trying to initiate a fight with you over you doing something strictly to your benefit is akin to her throwing a tantrum because she doesn't like herself and she doesn't want you to like yourself either

@Bodark Actual I'll reevaluate if I've been consistent in doing that but I've definitely done that in the past.

Oh she doesnt, one of the fights we got in a few weeks ago was over that

I asked if she loved herself

She said no

Of course not

She asked if I found her attractive. I fucked up and said she needed to loose some weight (my bad, shouldn't have been that brutal)

No