Message from @mcguyver123

Discord ID: 672587628276744202


2020-01-30 23:38:42 UTC  

How our women behave is always a direct reflection of who we are as leaders in our home.

And yes, I totally feel that and I often feel the same way about my wife, but the challenge is to make ourselves grow and become better as men through it so that we are fully outcome independent of our attachment to our women.

2020-01-30 23:38:52 UTC  

And btw I'm not shitting on you

2020-01-30 23:38:56 UTC  

Well I mean I usually have deeper convos with y'all too, but thats for different reasons. I think thays normal though

2020-01-30 23:39:23 UTC  

I take full responsibility for my wife developing some retarded behaviors, mostly because I failed to be a good leader

2020-01-30 23:39:54 UTC  

Only because shes incapable of conversation outside of meaningless shit. And I've tried talking about trivial stuff. But it's boring or small talk.

Independent. I'm already there. I told her if we divorced I'd be fine.

2020-01-30 23:40:30 UTC  

Good

2020-01-30 23:40:32 UTC  

Maybe that's it bodark. But I wonder if it's possible too we are just incapable and societal pressures have ruined aspects of marriage in general

2020-01-30 23:40:40 UTC  

That's an issue too

2020-01-30 23:40:49 UTC  

Do you have hobbies? Does she?

2020-01-30 23:41:09 UTC  

She feels and knows she can opera...
Fuck no, she sits around the house when shes not working

2020-01-30 23:41:22 UTC  

I've asked her to go to the gym, to hike, etc.

2020-01-30 23:41:31 UTC  

Uninterested

2020-01-30 23:41:37 UTC  

No real drive for it

2020-01-30 23:41:43 UTC  

Thats an issue too

2020-01-30 23:41:47 UTC  

So my wife is getting a lot better about that- here's how I fixed it

2020-01-30 23:41:54 UTC  

Literally hobbies

2020-01-30 23:42:16 UTC  

@thedarkness05 no shit. Shes "sick" because she doesnt move. I cant convey that to her.

2020-01-30 23:42:18 UTC  

Make *your hobbies* more important than the time she wants to spend with you dicking around at home doing nothing

2020-01-30 23:42:29 UTC  

Literally had his last night

2020-01-30 23:42:36 UTC  

@Bodark Actual that's what I've done for myself.

2020-01-30 23:43:06 UTC  

I'm listening tho

2020-01-30 23:43:54 UTC  

"I'm going to the gym with my sister" *well I wanted to stay home and watch TV with you :((((* "Come to the gym with us" *no, you guys work out too hard and I feel bad about myself* "Well, come with and learn how to get fit" *no and I mad at you. Fuck off and do what you want.* "Cool, aight, later"

2020-01-30 23:44:34 UTC  

Get home and she wants my attention the whole time, I give it, tomorrow night she's going to the gym with one of her girlfriends

2020-01-30 23:44:45 UTC  

Totally her call I didn't initiate that

2020-01-30 23:44:51 UTC  

@Bodark Actual I guess I need to do that more aggressively?

2020-01-30 23:45:00 UTC  

But I've been doing that shit with her since September

2020-01-30 23:46:03 UTC  

Don't be aggressive in that you argue or fight with her, just tell her what you're doing, invite her to be involved, and when she tries to make you unhappy and feel bad so she can keep being stagnant then just tell he you're doing your thing and so it

2020-01-30 23:46:10 UTC  

Make your happiness a real priority

2020-01-30 23:47:18 UTC  

Remember that her trying to initiate a fight with you over you doing something strictly to your benefit is akin to her throwing a tantrum because she doesn't like herself and she doesn't want you to like yourself either

2020-01-30 23:47:49 UTC  

@Bodark Actual I'll reevaluate if I've been consistent in doing that but I've definitely done that in the past.

Oh she doesnt, one of the fights we got in a few weeks ago was over that

2020-01-30 23:47:55 UTC  

I asked if she loved herself

2020-01-30 23:47:58 UTC  

She said no

2020-01-30 23:48:27 UTC  

Of course not

2020-01-30 23:48:27 UTC  

She asked if I found her attractive. I fucked up and said she needed to loose some weight (my bad, shouldn't have been that brutal)

2020-01-30 23:48:32 UTC  

No

2020-01-30 23:48:37 UTC  

Don't feel bad about that

2020-01-30 23:48:55 UTC  

I would have asked her if she feels attractive

2020-01-30 23:49:04 UTC  

Put all her projected issues back on her

2020-01-30 23:49:18 UTC  

I can try that

2020-01-30 23:51:10 UTC  

"Do you think I'm attractive?" Do YOU think you're attractive? "Well, no, I hate how I look." So are you asking me to give you validation for something? "Why won't you answer my question?" Because your question isn't given in good faith and is more about you than it is me. *And then shut the fuck up and go find something to do*

2020-01-30 23:51:20 UTC  

Leave the conversation at that point