Message from @mcguyver123
Discord ID: 672587628276744202
How our women behave is always a direct reflection of who we are as leaders in our home.
And yes, I totally feel that and I often feel the same way about my wife, but the challenge is to make ourselves grow and become better as men through it so that we are fully outcome independent of our attachment to our women.
And btw I'm not shitting on you
Well I mean I usually have deeper convos with y'all too, but thats for different reasons. I think thays normal though
I take full responsibility for my wife developing some retarded behaviors, mostly because I failed to be a good leader
Only because shes incapable of conversation outside of meaningless shit. And I've tried talking about trivial stuff. But it's boring or small talk.
Independent. I'm already there. I told her if we divorced I'd be fine.
Good
Maybe that's it bodark. But I wonder if it's possible too we are just incapable and societal pressures have ruined aspects of marriage in general
That's an issue too
Do you have hobbies? Does she?
She feels and knows she can opera...
Fuck no, she sits around the house when shes not working
I've asked her to go to the gym, to hike, etc.
Uninterested
No real drive for it
Thats an issue too
So my wife is getting a lot better about that- here's how I fixed it
Literally hobbies
@thedarkness05 no shit. Shes "sick" because she doesnt move. I cant convey that to her.
Make *your hobbies* more important than the time she wants to spend with you dicking around at home doing nothing
Literally had his last night
@Bodark Actual that's what I've done for myself.
"I'm going to the gym with my sister" *well I wanted to stay home and watch TV with you :((((* "Come to the gym with us" *no, you guys work out too hard and I feel bad about myself* "Well, come with and learn how to get fit" *no and I mad at you. Fuck off and do what you want.* "Cool, aight, later"
Get home and she wants my attention the whole time, I give it, tomorrow night she's going to the gym with one of her girlfriends
Totally her call I didn't initiate that
@Bodark Actual I guess I need to do that more aggressively?
But I've been doing that shit with her since September
Don't be aggressive in that you argue or fight with her, just tell her what you're doing, invite her to be involved, and when she tries to make you unhappy and feel bad so she can keep being stagnant then just tell he you're doing your thing and so it
Make your happiness a real priority
Remember that her trying to initiate a fight with you over you doing something strictly to your benefit is akin to her throwing a tantrum because she doesn't like herself and she doesn't want you to like yourself either
@Bodark Actual I'll reevaluate if I've been consistent in doing that but I've definitely done that in the past.
Oh she doesnt, one of the fights we got in a few weeks ago was over that
I asked if she loved herself
She said no
Of course not
She asked if I found her attractive. I fucked up and said she needed to loose some weight (my bad, shouldn't have been that brutal)
No
Don't feel bad about that
I would have asked her if she feels attractive
Put all her projected issues back on her
I can try that
"Do you think I'm attractive?" Do YOU think you're attractive? "Well, no, I hate how I look." So are you asking me to give you validation for something? "Why won't you answer my question?" Because your question isn't given in good faith and is more about you than it is me. *And then shut the fuck up and go find something to do*
Leave the conversation at that point