The horrible thing is like, at first when he started getting serious, it almost seemed like he was joking, and like, he joke-cries all the time so I didn't even realize or imemdiately acknowledge it

Sounds close to a defensive mechanism for that. But I don't have as much first hand experience

Honestly a major issue with a lot of what happens is that they find purpose while away. When they come home the world has moved on without them.

But when he got up he was literally bawling and I felt so awful... I haven't been able to think about anything else for the last 2 hours

I've noticed a lot of guys coming back, outside of being disenfranchised by society, dont have the comeradery and mission. Civie life is different. Provide for him that ride or die comeradery. That caring. dont be too touchy feely man. But be there for him.

@Hellhound6 beat me to it

Be smol ghey

You gotta care for your homies

Honestly readjusting is a big step and a hard one.

He and I are already really good friends, but I had just never seen this side of him so I almost thought he was faking at first. So did my other friend

Like it seemed so out of the blue like drunk him was pulling a prank... we definitely didn't treat it like that but thats what it seemed like until it boiled over

Here I'll send you what I said to him over messenger about an hour ago, can you honestly tell me if I said the right shit?

@Fe4r_incarnate just be there for him. Make sure he knows he isn't alone. Guide him towards help, but he's the only one that can actually fix it

@Fe4r_incarnate have a cigerette, pray if you pray, shoot him a text saying you'll see him tomorrow, and hit him up tomorrow. Let him know what he said concerned you. Tell him you got his back.

But that's the best you can do.

Also dude my break down happened 3 bottles of whiskey in at a friend's birthday. So it be like that

Dude i'm sorry I didn't realize the conversation had shifted to something serious I thought we were all still joking, I didn't mean to upset you I love you dude and I'm thankful for you, and I'm glad you're in my life, I didn't realize I had crossed a line or anything until it was too late dude. I feel awful, I'm sorry.

(Replaced his name with dude, he deserves to be anon)

I've had two friends opt out mate. Even with good support networks, sometimes it isnt good enough. Society is breaking men. Best we can do is remind kings what they are. Build the community around us that supports one another and out needs as men.

@Hellhound6 takes me a quart of jaeger lol

Was that too pushy

@Fe4r_incarnate you saw a strong man have a break down. I wouldn't blame you for sending that.

@Fe4r_incarnate again, just talk to him tomorrow

This guy is one of my best friends. We've been bois for a while. I just have never seen that side of him and it hurts me. I hope he isn't depressed

Hears the thing, because you cry n shit doesnt make him weak. If he lets it control him, that's the thing

Remind him that he's strong

@mcguyver123 also, agreed

Now or once he is sober

Sober

Let it cool down a little first

@Fe4r_incarnate sober

Also @Fe4r_incarnate you didn't do anything wrong. You dont have to apologize. Just be there for your bro

@thedarkness05this

But what if I did? What if by not taking him seriously right away I genuinely hurt him?

Nah dude

Trust me, you'd know

Nah man, just acknowledge that you didnt at first. But if he needs you, he can come to you to help deal with it. Straight talk, no bullshit

Also, his dad telling me to just talk to him tomorrow kinda makes me think this has happened before, but behind closed doors. I just can't help but feel responsible. We shouldn't have been talking about the military at all.

Nah

If you avoid it. It can be just as bad

@Fe4r_incarnate dude if he was talking it's fine. He was talkin. If he didnt wanna talk hed have said so.

@Hellhound6 that too

It's one of those things where as long as you're there when they open up

Don't coddle him, but listen