Based

Redpilled

*nice*

Frank was a stand up man I think he drank his last beer (died) a couple years back

Idk if this counts as a war story but I have a serious question about something I feel awful about

@Fe4r_incarnate you've got other service members, ems, etc here. Go for it

Shoot it king

So tonight, a good friend of mine got home from the military, he was honorably discharged, had a medical issue with his back, whatever. We've been friends for a while, he served one tour in afghanistan, but never once did he ever show any sign of anything ever bugging him. He used to joke about it and stuff... and even tonight he was joking about it.... but I think he got drunk, and his dad and I were talking about how I had almost joined Combat Search and rescue but couldn't swim... and my buddy (obviously drunk) started talking about something to do with a "soul for a soul" and I didn't understand, and I thought he was joking so I asked what he meant, and he just kept repeating it and said he had friends die and shit (which my other friend and I who were there both remember him saying nobody he cared about died) and he started crying and he and his family got up and left, his dad came back and reassured us that everything was okay and it was just because he was drunk... but I feel awful, I don't know if I triggered something or said something I shouldn't have, I've NEVER seen this guy even remotely bothered by anything, and literally 10 minutes before we were joking around and having a great time. Does he have PTSD? Is there something wrong that I need to take better care of in the future? I mean this guy is the most care free, happy guy I know, I genuinely don't know what happened.

I had even picked him up early from the airport to help surprise his parents and he was super happy, joking with me, playing his favorite songs and shit. I just don't know what happened. I feel like somewhere I did something wrong because he seemed upset because of me, and when he left he even tried to give me his debit card (?) I just don't know... was it because he was drunk? I don't get it

PTSD, yeah sounds like it

Is that usually triggered with alcohol? I just felt like such an ass... his dad and I were joking and next thing I knew he was crying and trying to get up to leave

But he was definitely drunk. His dad mouthed out "hes drunk, talk to him tomorrow" but I just... i dunno. Seemed like something more than that, but I can't help but feel responsible.

Yes.

You probably didnt do anything wrong mate.

Dont do anything irrational though. Dude has his own thing he has to deal with. Caveat that though, you need to be available for him and let him know you have his back. Tell him, seriously, when you're both sober, that you have his back.

I would say tell him you care about him but those would be your words.

Well alcoholowers inhibitions. Maybe you saw that mask slip a bit. I'd just be there and care for him, with out prodding too much. Let him know its ok

@Fe4r_incarnate a lot of shit can trigger it. Specially when it's fresh

The horrible thing is like, at first when he started getting serious, it almost seemed like he was joking, and like, he joke-cries all the time so I didn't even realize or imemdiately acknowledge it

Sounds close to a defensive mechanism for that. But I don't have as much first hand experience

Honestly a major issue with a lot of what happens is that they find purpose while away. When they come home the world has moved on without them.

But when he got up he was literally bawling and I felt so awful... I haven't been able to think about anything else for the last 2 hours

I've noticed a lot of guys coming back, outside of being disenfranchised by society, dont have the comeradery and mission. Civie life is different. Provide for him that ride or die comeradery. That caring. dont be too touchy feely man. But be there for him.

@Hellhound6 beat me to it

Be smol ghey

You gotta care for your homies

Honestly readjusting is a big step and a hard one.

He and I are already really good friends, but I had just never seen this side of him so I almost thought he was faking at first. So did my other friend

Like it seemed so out of the blue like drunk him was pulling a prank... we definitely didn't treat it like that but thats what it seemed like until it boiled over

Here I'll send you what I said to him over messenger about an hour ago, can you honestly tell me if I said the right shit?

@Fe4r_incarnate just be there for him. Make sure he knows he isn't alone. Guide him towards help, but he's the only one that can actually fix it

@Fe4r_incarnate have a cigerette, pray if you pray, shoot him a text saying you'll see him tomorrow, and hit him up tomorrow. Let him know what he said concerned you. Tell him you got his back.

But that's the best you can do.

Also dude my break down happened 3 bottles of whiskey in at a friend's birthday. So it be like that

Dude i'm sorry I didn't realize the conversation had shifted to something serious I thought we were all still joking, I didn't mean to upset you I love you dude and I'm thankful for you, and I'm glad you're in my life, I didn't realize I had crossed a line or anything until it was too late dude. I feel awful, I'm sorry.

(Replaced his name with dude, he deserves to be anon)

I've had two friends opt out mate. Even with good support networks, sometimes it isnt good enough. Society is breaking men. Best we can do is remind kings what they are. Build the community around us that supports one another and out needs as men.

@Hellhound6 takes me a quart of jaeger lol

Was that too pushy

@Fe4r_incarnate you saw a strong man have a break down. I wouldn't blame you for sending that.

@Fe4r_incarnate again, just talk to him tomorrow

This guy is one of my best friends. We've been bois for a while. I just have never seen that side of him and it hurts me. I hope he isn't depressed

Hears the thing, because you cry n shit doesnt make him weak. If he lets it control him, that's the thing

Remind him that he's strong

@mcguyver123 also, agreed

Now or once he is sober