Message from @Thomatorr, King of Ohio

Discord ID: 639659888162897920


Do I really deserve happiness? serious question

2019-11-01 02:42:11 UTC  

Its not that you may or may not deserve it

2019-11-01 02:42:21 UTC  

Its whether or not you can find it in and for yourself

2019-11-01 02:42:28 UTC  

It exists in us. there are just complications in there

2019-11-01 02:42:34 UTC  

Never be worried about getting medical help.

2019-11-01 02:43:01 UTC  

I am sure a good bit of us come from a rough background,and those things as a child,really fracture our perception of the world and of ourselves.

2019-11-01 02:43:47 UTC  

So taking the time to go back and evaluate the wrong doings and the pain is worth it. I got good relief knowing that I'm partially manic and everything I worry about is turned up into a 10 by my fucking stupid dick smoking brain

2019-11-01 02:43:57 UTC  

and we do give too much power to our unoccupied brains

2019-11-01 02:44:31 UTC  

its like busting an employee fucking off while your the manager,come back " Oh look this fucker went on lunch early" or " this dumb sum bitch is on facebook "

Damn dude....

2019-11-01 02:54:43 UTC  

You seek your own hapiness my dude

2019-11-01 02:54:59 UTC  

Im just too unlucky to find it

2019-11-01 02:55:40 UTC  

Did I say something wrong fam ?

i don't know how I should feel now.... or how I should proceed.....

@Thomatorr, King of Ohio I get what you're saying, it's good stuff tbh. I just feel confused about myself and my own happiness

2019-11-01 02:57:58 UTC  

I'll tell you what I do

2019-11-01 02:58:32 UTC  

I kind of do that Dr.Strange shit. I just kind of imagine myself out of my body and examine the problems and why I react to them,then I wonder why I am holding onto them and try to find the simplest thing that'd bring me joy at the moment.

Like, mental projection stuff?

2019-11-01 02:59:11 UTC  

Yeah

2019-11-01 02:59:47 UTC  

I just go "Tom,do we really need to hold onto this problem ? Look at how its treating you,and how you are reacting to it,do you want to give a probability of a negative experience power over you ?"

2019-11-01 03:00:01 UTC  

I dont/ because normally the worst never happens

2019-11-01 03:00:14 UTC  

and should it ? Well I had my faith in myself and I can cash in on that

2019-11-01 03:03:18 UTC  

Like I used to get mad fucking salty that my lady would go to the bar with her friends. I used to be worried as fuck that some dumb hoe shit was gonna happen. Well. I said,the only real way I can test myself is to let this imagined experience happen if it does,because I've been a good man to myself. I've propped up my ideas on my shoulders,remaining clear and in good acting with myself. If it happened. I knew that I would be okay because I dared myself to let it go and let it happen should it. And know. I have no problem about her doing her own thing because I created trust there.

2019-11-01 03:04:05 UTC  

So anymore I can totally feel okay. I am worried that I might not be there to protect her from any one else. But I know,through emotional conditioning and faith in her,that nothing stupids gonna happen.

2019-11-01 03:04:12 UTC  

and I tell you what. I was like that for years

I'll.... I'll actually have to try that. Thanks bro

2019-11-01 03:04:27 UTC  

You in the US ?

2019-11-01 03:04:34 UTC  

I can give you my number to reach out if you need to

2019-11-01 03:05:10 UTC  

I'll walk you through anything King.

Yeah, Arizona

where ya at bro? i just wanna chat lol

2019-11-01 03:05:55 UTC  

I'll meet all of you at the Valhallian gates. Whether you've faced men in combat or yourself in the darkness of your own mind. You deserve a name on the hall of warriors.

2019-11-01 03:05:57 UTC  

Ohio

2019-11-01 03:06:02 UTC  

Hop in Trenches ?

2019-11-01 03:06:15 UTC  

Lemme get a good smoke in first

Take your time bro, I'm not gonna rush 😎

2019-11-01 03:07:05 UTC  

If you want to know something about me

2019-11-01 03:07:27 UTC  

I am afraid to sleep

ptsd?

2019-11-01 03:07:43 UTC  

Childhood,yeah

damn bro