Message from @Deleted User

Discord ID: 411635060975075328


2018-01-31 20:09:07 UTC  

God damn Air Force

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/408352430120632349/408353023060869122/fucking_chair_force.jpg

2018-02-06 02:47:49 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/408352430120632349/410265296369090570/Thatssofuckingevil_71f677_6510462.png

2018-02-06 03:23:44 UTC  

Holy shit I have got to try that out.

2018-02-07 20:39:06 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/408352430120632349/410897281911488512/Imsorryformakingyouseethis_af8cc8_6511990.png

2018-02-08 16:04:35 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/408352430120632349/411190586259800075/DRRzVjmXkAM_Ley.png

2018-02-08 17:49:44 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/408352430120632349/411217048501485568/4chan_b869d1_6512916.png

2018-02-08 17:50:50 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/408352430120632349/411217327397535744/unknown.png

2018-02-08 22:41:18 UTC  

I mean I have had one tough ass break up but I never decided it would be a good idea to go fuck a dude

2018-02-08 22:52:55 UTC  

I mean he drives a Miata

2018-02-09 06:44:05 UTC  

^ he was always gay

2018-02-09 15:13:40 UTC  

Pretty much lol

2018-02-09 15:13:48 UTC  

It's pretty much a gay man's car

2018-02-09 15:13:54 UTC  

But hell it's fast tho

2018-02-09 15:14:08 UTC  

I just would rather get something less homosexual

2018-02-09 21:29:25 UTC  

miatas arnt fast my dude

2018-02-09 21:29:40 UTC  

that's the joke

2018-02-09 21:30:15 UTC  

you said its fast

2018-02-09 21:30:29 UTC  

for its size

2018-02-09 21:30:30 UTC  

they are just lightweight, made fast with turbos

2018-02-09 21:30:35 UTC  

it's small as shit

2018-02-09 21:30:46 UTC  

it's like a barbie car

2018-02-09 21:30:51 UTC  

easy to get assfucked in

2018-02-09 21:31:45 UTC  

that too

2018-02-09 21:32:19 UTC  

it's like a Prius that isn't electric

2018-02-09 21:32:28 UTC  

story time

2018-02-09 21:32:39 UTC  

eat my ass

2018-02-11 18:15:06 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/408352430120632349/412310598290767892/mjj.jpg

2018-02-14 02:24:35 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/408352430120632349/413158554237796362/Pandas_7118f1_6517788.png

2018-02-17 18:02:56 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/408352430120632349/414481861503352852/Anonisaschoolshooter_a4f54a_6521376.png

2018-02-22 04:42:11 UTC  

John Elway is the king of all football and creator of the Denver Broncos. He was cast in bronze and forged from iron 12,000 years ago by the almighty god Dan Reeves, who came inside Rainbow Dash one fateful December night and created Hurricane Katrina which blew all around the world and killed all the black people but unfortunately they came back to life and asked for money.

2018-02-22 04:42:13 UTC  

@Literally John Elway tell me the story of john elway

2018-02-22 04:42:20 UTC  

However John Elway was also born that night, and he grew into a mighty demigod who then set forth on the road to become a full god as soon as he had lunch, and then he became football through the divine will of Jesus Christ and much to the awe of the American he went on to create football in his image.

2018-02-22 04:42:23 UTC  

Godspeed, John Elway, for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Football.
In the days of yore there was no football, and no Denver, and no Broncos. There was however John Elway, for John Elway is eternal. And God said unto John Elway, thou shalt build me an ark, only it won't be an ark so much as it will be football.

And John Elway did build football 40 cubits wide and 40 cubits deep with a circumference of 40 million cubits and a football. The football was pleasing to the God and the American, and he said unto Moses: You should be more like John Elway you raging faggot.

And Moses said unto the Lord: Fuck you I'm a Patriots fan.

And God did smite Moses for his faggotry and there was much rejoice and football was had for all. And John Elway did make more football and put football on the moon and put all the footballs in space which made the world for the third time that day.
The Lord Jesus Christ blessed me with a solid gold cock which gave me the power to rule Equestria, and I brought football to the land and all the ponies rejoiced, for they now had all the footballs just like me, John Elway. And so it shall be, forever.
You see, John Elway wasn't always football. There was a time when John Elway was only 29, maybe 33% football. However when the Lord Jesus Christ called him on the phone and said John Elway you need to be 100% football, do you know what he did? Do you think he just laid down and sucked his thumb and cried the way you probably would you pussy? No, fuck no. John Elway took the fucking call and answered.

John Elway was always the man to become football. John Elway was sired by Dan Reeves, born of Rainbow Dash, conceived in fire, Master of Football, Lord of the Denver Broncos now and Forever.

In the Name of Jesus Christ and God Bless American.

2018-02-22 04:42:28 UTC  

A thousand years ago, back when I was only a small Elway, I was not entirely football. The Denver Broncos did not yet exist, and the universe was cloaked in perpetual twilight. My people wandered in the desert without football. But then the Lord came to me in a football and said John Elway, you really need to become football. And I became football and then traveled into the future and invented time travel so I could travel back in time and become Dan Reeves, then I made sweet beautiful love to Rainbow Dash and sired myself, for that is what the Lord commanded me to do for without John Elway there could be no football.

2018-02-22 04:42:35 UTC  

How is that even funny though

2018-02-22 04:42:52 UTC  

A very good question. Let me give you five motherfucking very good reasons why John Elway can bring the pain:

JOHN ELWAY, JOHN "FUCK YOU" ELWAY, JOHN "EAT FUCKING SHIT" ELWAY, JOHN "I AM THE STATE" ELWAY, and JOHN "I WILL RAM THIS MEME DOWN YOUR THROAT UNTIL YOU LOVE IT" ELWAY.

You see, John Elway wasn't always football. There was a time when John Elway was only 29, maybe 33% football. However when the Lord Jesus Christ called him on the phone and said John Elway you need to be 100% football, do you know what he did? Do you think he just laid down and sucked his thumb and cried the way you probably would you pussy? No, fuck no. John Elway took the fucking call and answered.

John Elway was always the man to become football. John Elway was sired by Dan Reeves, born of Rainbow Dash, conceived in fire, Master of Football, Lord of the Denver Broncos now and Forever.

2018-02-22 04:43:04 UTC  

The Denver Broncos were football before there was even football. They never even had the word football, or even the derivative words foot and ball, they just had a bunch of squeaks and grunts that sounded like black people trying to reason with police officers.

But then John Elway came, and it was magical. Magical friendship, you might say, you might even say that friendship was magic, because friendship was between man and football, and football was John Elway. And John Elway started the Denver Broncos because he knew that the world needed his footballs, and as such he decided to begin the footballs so that everyone could football alongside him.

2018-02-22 04:43:20 UTC  

The Denver Broncos are football now and forever. The Denver Broncos rose out of the darkness that was Oakland and cast the Raiders into the pit of eternal darkness, and sent their leader Princess Luna to the Dark Side of the Moon to listen to Pink Floyd until the end of all eternity.

For it was that Dan Reeves did cum inside the Lady Dash one fateful December night, and thus was born unto all of us in the city of Denver a Savior, tis John Elway the Lord, Praise Football (praise football).

And then John Elway burst into football and the world became football, and the glory of football was seen by all the ponies who fell to their knees and did render praise unto John Elway and Praise Football (praise football). And so it was that John Elway did marry Princess Celestia and sired a child, and that child was football, and the child burst into football and football was all the land and the land was at peace and was football (praise football).

2018-02-22 04:43:31 UTC  

You see, back when my name wasn't John Elway, the earth was void and without form. And then God said to Abraham, "you are a huge faggot" and he punched him in the face and rainbows squirted out and that gave God the idea to create me, football. And so he came to me and said, John Elway, your name is now John Elway, and I want you to be football, now and forever.

And so, I said to God, it is so, and then I became football and exploded into football and that's the story of how football came to be.

2018-02-22 04:43:54 UTC  

There once was a man from Nantucket.

However, as soon as he stepped into the gravitational pull of the almighty DENVER BRONCOS he was sucked into the eternal void of Football and was never heard from again.

We all know the story of course, but we don't know what happened to him. Until now, that is.

You see, when Rainbow Dash first conceived of the mighty Elway, the universe was void and without form, in the time before, in the long long ago. And so it was that the man from Nantucket was sucked into the black hole at the center of the galaxy, which was actually the vagina of Rainbow Dash, and was thus born into the universe at the other end of time, before time, before all that was and ever shall be.

I'll clue you in on something: the man from Nantucket was YOU. You are He and I and Thou, and you have thus the privilege to behold the mighty Elway.

You're welcome.

2018-02-22 04:44:02 UTC  

For eleven thousand years, the Earth was a great sea of boiling waters, black as the night itself, and festering with the blood of a thousand creatures with razor sharp teeth and eyes as black as coal. And yea, the Lord Elway did descend from on high, and slap Moses across the dick with his mighty fifteen thousand foot long peener, and told that lazy faggot to get to work building an ark, forty cubits wide and a million cubits deep, which could hold all of the Football that he had produced from the depth of his mighty prostate.

And so it was that football did come to the Sea of Tranquility, which should henceforth be called the City of Atlantis, except they changed the name to Atlanta because Atlantis sank deep into the bosom of the pacific ocean, when it became apparent that all of the footballs made it as heavy as a thousand suns.

Praise American. Praise Football.