God damn Air Force

Holy shit I have got to try that out.

I mean I have had one tough ass break up but I never decided it would be a good idea to go fuck a dude

I mean he drives a Miata

^ he was always gay

Pretty much lol

It's pretty much a gay man's car

But hell it's fast tho

I just would rather get something less homosexual

miatas arnt fast my dude

that's the joke

you said its fast

for its size

they are just lightweight, made fast with turbos

it's small as shit

it's like a barbie car

easy to get assfucked in

that too

it's like a Prius that isn't electric

story time

eat my ass

John Elway is the king of all football and creator of the Denver Broncos. He was cast in bronze and forged from iron 12,000 years ago by the almighty god Dan Reeves, who came inside Rainbow Dash one fateful December night and created Hurricane Katrina which blew all around the world and killed all the black people but unfortunately they came back to life and asked for money.

@Literally John Elway tell me the story of john elway

However John Elway was also born that night, and he grew into a mighty demigod who then set forth on the road to become a full god as soon as he had lunch, and then he became football through the divine will of Jesus Christ and much to the awe of the American he went on to create football in his image.

Godspeed, John Elway, for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Football.
In the days of yore there was no football, and no Denver, and no Broncos. There was however John Elway, for John Elway is eternal. And God said unto John Elway, thou shalt build me an ark, only it won't be an ark so much as it will be football.

And John Elway did build football 40 cubits wide and 40 cubits deep with a circumference of 40 million cubits and a football. The football was pleasing to the God and the American, and he said unto Moses: You should be more like John Elway you raging faggot.

And Moses said unto the Lord: Fuck you I'm a Patriots fan.

And God did smite Moses for his faggotry and there was much rejoice and football was had for all. And John Elway did make more football and put football on the moon and put all the footballs in space which made the world for the third time that day.
The Lord Jesus Christ blessed me with a solid gold cock which gave me the power to rule Equestria, and I brought football to the land and all the ponies rejoiced, for they now had all the footballs just like me, John Elway. And so it shall be, forever.
You see, John Elway wasn't always football. There was a time when John Elway was only 29, maybe 33% football. However when the Lord Jesus Christ called him on the phone and said John Elway you need to be 100% football, do you know what he did? Do you think he just laid down and sucked his thumb and cried the way you probably would you pussy? No, fuck no. John Elway took the fucking call and answered.

John Elway was always the man to become football. John Elway was sired by Dan Reeves, born of Rainbow Dash, conceived in fire, Master of Football, Lord of the Denver Broncos now and Forever.

In the Name of Jesus Christ and God Bless American.

A thousand years ago, back when I was only a small Elway, I was not entirely football. The Denver Broncos did not yet exist, and the universe was cloaked in perpetual twilight. My people wandered in the desert without football. But then the Lord came to me in a football and said John Elway, you really need to become football. And I became football and then traveled into the future and invented time travel so I could travel back in time and become Dan Reeves, then I made sweet beautiful love to Rainbow Dash and sired myself, for that is what the Lord commanded me to do for without John Elway there could be no football.

How is that even funny though