My boss told me to attach two pieces of wood together... I totally nailed it!

Me

Patient: *Doctor, when I applied that hemorrhoid cream you gave me, there was a very nasty reaction.*

Doctor: *Where did you apply it?*

Patient: *||On the bus.||*

The antennae must have had good feelings for each other.

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams...

I hope everyone else understands this like i do

Repost. I did that one already 😝😛

If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, then soviet.

I think I have just seen Michael J Fox in a flower shop, though i still cant be sure it was him though....He had his back to the Fuchsias

My friend thinks he can tighten nuts and bolts just by sitting on them...Personally I think he torques out of his ass.

I don't get that last one

@Snugbubbles <#801170177902772254>

<:ZedBiden:769281795228958740>

Lmao

Nice

<:salut:730846445732888630> to the fallen eyelash solders who have fallen protecting our eyes from danger
One moment there're here, and in the blink of an eye, they're gone. It's a painful sight

racing geese for sale : let me know if you want a quick gander.

My friend accidentally spilled a bottle of her sons Ritalin in her Ford Fiesta...Now it's a Ford Focus.

I've lost loads of weight just by wearing bread on my head, It's a loaf hat diet

My life is not a joke.
||Jokes have meaning.||

Did you hear about the inmate with a studder? They didn't know if he would finish his sentence.

Would be amazing if these all were posted in a meme format...