eoic

also trigger warning, this involves a lot of bad math that in hindsight was wrong as shit but it was still funny

So we were in another weird plane that was made of a bunch of floating islands. People would take portals to hop from one to another. Pretty neat. Tons of weird trees and bizarre architecture. Somebody ended up pissing off the local town guards, real lawful evil type. We had to fucking book it outa there before we got jumped.

At the time I was playing my favorite class, psychic warrior from the rebalanced 3.5 psionic handbook. Great class. I was a full tank, wearing plate mail and carrying a towershield. The goons were catching up to us, some of the party members were too slow to outrun them. We came to a set of stairs, for some reason this plane loved having stupidly long staircases. I cast expansion, making myself 4x larger as well as my shield. Well I also had force screen active as it tends to last all day once you’ve leveled up enough. Threw my shield on the ground and told my party to hop on.

My DM ruled that were would be no friction between my shield and the ground on account of my force screen spell. At the time I was in physics 201, trig based. I was doing some (probably very poor) mental math. We would be ZOOMING down those stairs. I weighed over a ton by the rules of expansion, and my party was large. So we’re flying down that bitch, making collective strength checks to try to steer us between city streets and subsequent staircases. We almost smacked into the city wall, but thankfully our wizard had icewall. A simple spellcraft check and we had an iceman ramp right over that bitch. I hit the ground with a resounding *thud*, but everyone was alright.

Our objective was right infront of us, unsurprisingly, beyond another staircase in a tunnel that I guess lead to another island. Everyone wanted to get back on my shield and get moving because the guards were probably going to follow us. I just knew this was a bad idea. I could see it my DM’s face. Or the back of hands. He was dying laughing at our antics, but he looked at me when they said that. I was often the voice of reason but the path was set. I knew better than to ask, but I had to know. How long was this tunnel?

“…bout two miles.”

Everyone at the table sort of realizes just how fucked we are. We don’t have breaks.

So like, 6 or so arm chair physicists and google try to figure out how much damage we’re going to take. Needless to say it wasn’t pretty. I myself had an escape plan in a spell that turns me to gas. The gnome wizard had a parachute and one dude had featherfall. So we’re going something stupid, I don’t remember the number but it was too god damn fast. We’re taking wind damage level fast. Gnome pulls his chute, dude pops featherfall and saves two people. I go gaseous. Unfortunately our fighter

Uh.

Well there was a barred gate on the other side at the bottom. He was liquified.

Person smaking into the bars going 200MPH would result in total liquidation. Hey, got the gate opened though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qf6rNIDLqY < relevant

@MountainMan ]

AHAHJAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

THATS FUCKING AMAZING HAHAHAHA

It doesnt help that the gnome wizard gave us thrusters.

Our shitty napkin math told us we would have smacked those bars with enough newtons to collapse a skyscraper

@Dust turns out that 1/2 the party were former whores

<:think_hang:378717098903470080>

@MountainMan @Angus Finals are done and I have my training dates if yall still are interested in playing some pathfinder

I have about 4-5 weeks left until my finals are over

yeah just throw out some days, I'm good on mondays, wednesdays, fridays

im a NEET until June 21st so im down for whatever mostly

make sure to DM angus, also maybe make a new discord server for your dnd

yeah

So, found a Warhammer porno. It's really fucking weird. But I noticed something.

Nice lizardman chants no?

@EnderOctanus I'm more curious as to why you found a warhammer porno.

@meratrix because it has elfu

lizardmen are my nemesis ever since playing skaven in total war warhammer 2

Ok, mud

@gonejamin card faggots live here

I know where I belong , it was a mistake. I run other servers to sate nerd talk thank you very much @Broo TulsiGang 2024 🇬🇧 🇺🇸

🤣

https://youtu.be/WMwdpu4n5K0

@Dust you guys did chadfinder yesterday?

nah one of the guys is on holiday for 2 weeks