What did Sherlock say when asked what rock the Grand Canyon was made of? Sedimentary my dear Watson, Sedimentary.

Sometimes I crouch down, put my knees to my chest and lean forward really far. That's just how i roll 😎

Sadly I just lost my job in the ice-cream parlour. I told them there's no way I'm doing Sundaes😉

I once worked at an ice cream parlor. But I lost my cool with a customer and they gave me the cold shoulder.

Needless to say, I was told to chill out or I would get fired.

That's just cold

why did karen press ctrl+alt+delete? She wanted to see the *task manager*

Just remember: we all came from the poo of something else!

Except for Biden. He is his own piece of crap.

He who is who he is

There once was a bear who learned to breathe through its butt. One day it sat down on a bench and suffocated.

Hugh Mungus...

@Deleted User Nate the music dude? You heard of NF? He’s a dude named Nate who makes music.

Look me up on iTunes. He got some 🔥 songs

> @Deleted User Nate the music dude? You heard of NF? He’s a dude named Nate who makes music.
@ChristianChicken1089 ay bro I listen to him everyday LOL

He’s prob my favorite Artist

@Deleted User Wow, that’s really cool! Yeah, he’s one of my favorite artists as well! What’s your favorite song by him?

That's my favorite engrish of all time!

@Wholesome American

one i made myself that my family enjoyed

what is the cross between a pig and a cello?
hamstrings

Good one

What's a cross between a soldier and a cockatoo? a Parrotrooper

What's the difference between a fish and a piano? You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish

Once upon a time, there was a doctor that came to live amongst the people of a jungle. However, he swindled them for their food and money, only pretending to cure them. The jungle residents got fed up, and went to a witch for help. The witch turned the doctor into a shiny red apple that would gradually grow back into his old doctor self. The witch told the people that if they wanted to stop this process, they'd have to make sure the doctor never weighed over a pound, and that if he did they had to cut off a bit of the apple. So long story short...a weigh a day keeps the doctor an apple

I once made a belt from old watches. It was a waist of time.😆

no

fuck that you just haunted my dreams for weeks

All front teeth, no molars. Interesting.

someone bit off more then they can chew