Message from @Nope
Discord ID: 786070862625374209
Why is everyone talking about Paula and why should I care about her ticks ?
just
wow
Got dressed this morning and found a hole in my sock...darn
I went to visit my Mother-in-law the other day. I rang the bell and she opened the door in her nightdress, and I thought 'That's an odd place to have a door'.
I was miserable until this tall girl walked past my window. I knew she was tall, I live 8 floors up.
bruh
you did a darning joke....jokes from the 1850's
Call me old fashioned
I hit my head swimming today...dam.
Me: I've been constipated for a week!
Doctor: No shit?
This here is my stepladder. ||I never met my real ladder.||
I just invented a brand new word: Plagiarism
I named my dog 5 miles, and now I walk 5 miles every day.
I dung beetle walks into a bar and says.... ||"Is this stool taken?"||
That's a shitty joke
Yknow I nicknamed the neighbors dog 5 miles so that when people asked that I did last week I can say I ran over five miles
And if the dogs name was 500 miles ? Could you have made a song ?
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camo hoodie: You can hide but you can't run
Contrasting that the track team who stole my crossing guard outfit
Did you hear about the guy who steals hearing aids?
No? Me neither
That is deafinitely one of the best jokes I've read.
Is it apparent enough?
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf...
Just so you all know, brownies ARE a health food!! That is, if you count mental health...
How in the world do the police on bicycles arrest people?? "Alright, get in the basket..."
They say that you should test out your fire alarm once a month. Listen, I have tried, but it is simply costing me a FORTUNE in houses...!
I don't know about you, but my resume is basically just a list of things that I hate to do.
I told the doctor the other day that I thought I had athlete's foot. He looked at me and said, "I don't think you have athlete's ANYTHING..."
I bought a book on obedience seven years ago, but it turns out my dog sure is a slow reader.
My goodness, you know, these days I could just snap at any moment....like, seriously, with either hand...
People who sleep in socks must be very, very small...
These are grate
Insanity doesn't run in my family. No, instead, it strolls through, taking its time to get to know each of us personally...
I don't burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little each day...
When my wife asks me, "What do you think?" I think I really should have been listening...