bruh

you did a darning joke....jokes from the 1850's

Call me old fashioned

I hit my head swimming today...dam.

Me: I've been constipated for a week!
Doctor: No shit?

This here is my stepladder. ||I never met my real ladder.||

I just invented a brand new word: Plagiarism

I named my dog 5 miles, and now I walk 5 miles every day.

I dung beetle walks into a bar and says.... ||"Is this stool taken?"||

That's a shitty joke

Yknow I nicknamed the neighbors dog 5 miles so that when people asked that I did last week I can say I ran over five miles

And if the dogs name was 500 miles ? Could you have made a song ?

👀

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camo hoodie: You can hide but you can't run

Contrasting that the track team who stole my crossing guard outfit

Did you hear about the guy who steals hearing aids?

No? Me neither

That is deafinitely one of the best jokes I've read.

Is it apparent enough?

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf...

Just so you all know, brownies ARE a health food!! That is, if you count mental health...

How in the world do the police on bicycles arrest people?? "Alright, get in the basket..."

They say that you should test out your fire alarm once a month. Listen, I have tried, but it is simply costing me a FORTUNE in houses...!

I don't know about you, but my resume is basically just a list of things that I hate to do.

I told the doctor the other day that I thought I had athlete's foot. He looked at me and said, "I don't think you have athlete's ANYTHING..."

I bought a book on obedience seven years ago, but it turns out my dog sure is a slow reader.

My goodness, you know, these days I could just snap at any moment....like, seriously, with either hand...

People who sleep in socks must be very, very small...

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/785698794321739796/image0.png

These are grate

Insanity doesn't run in my family. No, instead, it strolls through, taking its time to get to know each of us personally...

I don't burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little each day...

When my wife asks me, "What do you think?" I think I really should have been listening...

I'm like Tom Cruise, I do all my own stunts--but never intentionally...

My cooking is so awesome! Even the smoke alarm cheers me on!

Listen guys, they say meat is murder...that's right, tasty, tasty murder....

Hey, if you're not part of the solution, you must be part of the team I work on...