Message from @NiceMarmot14

Discord ID: 786344346940866570


2020-12-09 14:46:23 UTC  

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf...

2020-12-09 14:51:20 UTC  

Just so you all know, brownies ARE a health food!! That is, if you count mental health...

2020-12-09 14:52:10 UTC  

How in the world do the police on bicycles arrest people?? "Alright, get in the basket..."

2020-12-09 14:53:36 UTC  

They say that you should test out your fire alarm once a month. Listen, I have tried, but it is simply costing me a FORTUNE in houses...!

2020-12-09 14:54:16 UTC  

I don't know about you, but my resume is basically just a list of things that I hate to do.

2020-12-09 14:55:10 UTC  

I told the doctor the other day that I thought I had athlete's foot. He looked at me and said, "I don't think you have athlete's ANYTHING..."

2020-12-09 14:59:11 UTC  

I bought a book on obedience seven years ago, but it turns out my dog sure is a slow reader.

2020-12-09 15:00:10 UTC  

My goodness, you know, these days I could just snap at any moment....like, seriously, with either hand...

2020-12-09 15:01:41 UTC  

People who sleep in socks must be very, very small...

2020-12-09 15:02:09 UTC  

These are grate

2020-12-09 15:04:11 UTC  

Insanity doesn't run in my family. No, instead, it strolls through, taking its time to get to know each of us personally...

2020-12-09 15:04:51 UTC  

I don't burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little each day...

2020-12-09 15:05:40 UTC  

When my wife asks me, "What do you think?" I think I really should have been listening...

2020-12-09 15:12:34 UTC  

I'm like Tom Cruise, I do all my own stunts--but never intentionally...

2020-12-09 15:13:28 UTC  

My cooking is so awesome! Even the smoke alarm cheers me on!

2020-12-09 15:15:09 UTC  

Listen guys, they say meat is murder...that's right, tasty, tasty murder....

2020-12-09 15:19:06 UTC  

Hey, if you're not part of the solution, you must be part of the team I work on...

2020-12-09 15:20:56 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/786251042572468224/Roadkill_Cafe.jpg

2020-12-09 16:26:50 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/786267626316890172/20201209_112337.jpg

2020-12-09 21:31:41 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/786344345342050344/image0.jpg

2020-12-09 22:46:16 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/786363111061585930/20201208_142324.jpg

2020-12-10 05:14:50 UTC  

you forgot a spot when you were cleaning it!!!

2020-12-10 05:15:57 UTC  

wow.... that actually made me giggle...

2020-12-10 06:46:24 UTC  

HE LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2020-12-10 12:13:26 UTC  

An argument started at my igloo house. It got so heated that the cops came and told everyone to freeze.

2020-12-10 23:24:58 UTC  

How to arrest someone 101:


Hold your wrist over them and said “You’re under a-wrist”

2020-12-11 00:23:23 UTC  

*Deep Sigh*

2020-12-11 00:55:41 UTC  

🙂

2020-12-11 01:01:31 UTC  

My dad bought a chameleon, my mom didn't approve, but my dad said he'd blend right in

2020-12-11 02:39:21 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/786784159040929802/20201210_183900.jpg

2020-12-11 02:40:50 UTC  

Hi Smokie

2020-12-11 03:38:45 UTC  

I’m stealing that one.
I’ll take it by *force* if I must.

2020-12-11 03:39:22 UTC  

I’ll be a star in the war

2020-12-11 06:27:19 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/786841529146802176/image0.png

2020-12-11 15:10:18 UTC  

Did you hear about the cat who wrote a novel? She called it romeow and Juliette

2020-12-11 18:01:40 UTC  

what do you call a hospital that cares for citrus fruits

2020-12-11 18:01:51 UTC  

lemon*aid*

2020-12-11 21:28:26 UTC  

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/728498363347107891/787068302350090250/20201211_132808.jpg

2020-12-11 21:43:32 UTC  

You're getting a blow up doll?

2020-12-12 00:10:33 UTC  

Why does Waldo wear stripes? ||He doesn't want to be spotted.||