the crows are going nuts

Give them potato chips.

they like peanuts

I heard that calms them down and makes them friendly.

I give them nuts

Specially from McDonald's.

I see.

they also like the occasional egg

Welp, you have a crow army.

Congratulations.

My knowledge comes from The Great Crow War.

4chan

Do you know about it?

I'd love to hav a shoebill

and no?

Apparently some guy on the way to work encountered crows on a grassfield, and crows on a tree.

if only I could get a shoebill large enough to ride, I'd have a loftwing

He knew how they were really intelligent, and recognised faces.

So he started an experiment.

He treadted the field birbs really good, buying them chips from McDonald's.

And he treated tree birbs badly, throwing them rocks, shaking their tree.

Naturally, ones got friendly, even checking he returned home safely.

The others threw him rocks and got aggressive.

And one fateful day, when a rock was thrown, a war broke between the two factions.

Chaos and screams.

And then silence, with a field full of dead crows.

And the field birbs having won.

Also, the guy had his favorite crow, who he gave the best chips. After the battle, the bird was left with a scar in his eye.

sounds impprobable

Finally, they all celebrated their victory, going to McDonald's.

And the cashier freaked out.

The End.

better than any of the new star wars movies

As an european I have to ask. Why do you even vote a president when everything is decided on state level?

And that kids, is why all alliances are valuable.

I found that to be quite interesting. Odd to walk in on, but interesting nonetheless.

I also have a bunch of squirrels who are very friendly with me

Awww.

squirrel and crow allies

Squirrels.

the Cardinals aren't afraid of me anymore