Doesn't John deserve the unconditional love of a dog?

I want a dog but not until I can time it so it dies first and then I die shortly after.

So a murder suicide thing with your pet?

No, retard

Seems a bit over the top.

I want to outlive everyone I like

Do you like anyone?

I have a list

Am I on the list

I dont need to worry about you

Your caffeine consumption, regular migranes and other life style choices will take care of that.

Gf cooked ribs that had been frozen for 2 years. They were still good. Nice.

Nice does that

☺

So do you want to fuck maids on a giant skateboard? Have sex with maids in a skate park? Be the maid being banged under the halfpipe?

<:thonk:288060975775612929>

Maybe he thinks they're cool, not sexual.

Impossible

None of the pics he sends are ever sexual or suggestive tho

I can read inbetween the lines

He is kneading his crotch the whole time.

John this is 📽

Generally prefer whiskey at room temp ir in a slightly chilled glass.

@Matthew its clear nicebear has a thing for maids

But what is it?

Why fucking bother at that point?

Frying broccoli makes it bad, steamed or stirfried is way better

John, are you saying that maid uniforms aren't cute?

Don't dodge the question. Just answer it: are maid outfits cute

They are as atractive as anything else on attractive girls

@NiceBear the florets tend to absorb batter but also the grease so it becomes dense, greasy and generally unappealing

📽

👓 really, *really* do it for me.

@NiceBear my gf has those. She was born with cataracts in both eyes, and the procedure to remove them hadn't been perfected yet, so they just removed both of the lenses in her eyes, so the glasses have to pull double duty

Just plop dead people's corneas on her, call it a day

@johnfrum scarring prevents that

But think about it

Wearing them all day, then when she takes them off, *you know it's go time*.

😤

😩 👌