Message from @Donut Steel Tendies
Discord ID: 446338688671154176
by all means
At what point does "Having standards" stop and "Being shallow" begins?
When it comes to a man being the one who is deciding
it begins when you want to start forming a real relationship with a person.
both have to decide
but you can choose to identify and avoid
It's just that there is someone interested in me but I'm not interested in that person and I find her unattractive to me but I also feel guilty for that
you shouldn't
if its not for you its not for you
its not a 1 way street
I am not a picky person at all but I am even less than average attracted to people who are overweight
Anyway I have a lecture in a few mins, I can chat some more in two hours
it sounds like you are selling yourself short
you are less then avg so just take whatever comes your way
thats no path for success
so get out of that mindet
Welp, lecture's not happening so I'm back
can you explain what you mean by "you are less than avg so jsut take whatever comes your way"
it just sounds like the mindset you are in based on what you said
Well, on one hand, it is true that I'm not in the best mental condition recently and my self esteem is really damn low, maybe even somewhat unreasonably so.
but I also believe that there is more to people than looks, though I think being overweight is a consequence of bad descisions and maybe it's okay to find it undesirable
i wouldn't worry about external relationships until you feel better about yourself
He wasn't saying he was less than average. He was saying he is 'even less than average attracted to people who are overweight.
You aren't obligated to like someone back just because they like you. But I would be straightforward with her and say you only see her as a friend.
Also, I think it helps be realistic about yourself when setting your standards, and decide what is most important to you.
Like for me, a sense of humor and smarts was most important, Everything else was flexible to a certain degree.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts
Been having these problems since at least 5 years ago and I don't even know what to do. Tried everything, nothing worked
Self confidence and thinking positively are great equalizers, they affect how you present yourself to the world. What is something you think is good about yourself?
I have above average self consciousness so I'm less likely to do something cringy I guess
Just don't get too far into your own head with it. It took me a long time to learn that it doesn't matter what you do/don't do, you'll never get everyone to like you. Your best bet is to worry about yourself and what you like, and not worry about other people so much, the ones who like you for you will stick around.
I used to have hobbies but I just don't seem to care about them much anymore
I need to find something new to do
Hobbies are important. They can be frustrating because sometimes they feel like another commitment you are having trouble keeping up with, but you just gotta take it at your own pace.
Well, I've always been into cars. Maybe it's time to get serious about that
Cars are cool, plus it'll help save you money if you can do stuff yourself.
I've done some rust repair
done a shite job but I've learned a lot
I replaced the alternator on my Saturn, it took like a week, but it saved us a lot of money. I love my Saturn, not very much on it breaks, and the stuff that does is easy to fix.
Same with my MX5 though I'm selling it to get some money for a real project car
My dad was a Porsche mechanic when he was younger, now he buys them cheap and broken and fixes em all up and sells em.