I'm in some ways the exact opposite too

if I am not narcissistic I will lose sense of myself entirely

I only turned out fine because I had a great life, otherwise I am predisposed potentially to being a pretty bad person

lie lie lie lie REAFFIRM SELF lie lie lie lie REAFFIRM SELF

no see

that is the fear, the wall

the barrier

there's something real beyond that

you keep responding to that fear, thinking you're doing something about it

you're not, you're just delaying things

of course, and if I became that person I would be impoverished instantly

because the ultimate issue remains unresolved

maybe you could become that way slowly

if I were real I would quit medical school yesterday and just start drawing comics and play guitar

I would just make art all day every day

and be poor

would you like to do that

I know a girl who is a professional artist, she is disney grade

if you could eke out a living

she lost weight due to starvation

hypothetically

she is better than I ever will be

but she lives with her parents and cannot afford enough food

is she happy

no

she started gradually becoming a tumblr SJW

oh well

last I saw she got an undercut

she posted stuff about how the mormon church should basically go SJW and I called it retarded and she blocked me on social media

it was like one of the only posts I even made this year

a lot of people with your affliction use this SJW stuff by the way

have you noticed?

yes

I used to think well of these people ultimately, because I thought they were motivated by love, even if they were massively wrong to the point of evil

and that hasn't changed for most of them

but plenty of people use it in a different way, anyway that's a pretty big topic and can get a bit self congratulatory in an alt-right context so nvm

I'm interested

there's not much to it

they just use it as a justification for being a good person

while beating up other people with those values and standards

but in truth, they don't really care about anything but their own selves