13. "Well, I was at work, right, and my computer totally bollocksed up, and I hadn't saved that bollocks I was working on, so I though, 'bollocks to this, I'm going down the pub'. I went with Jeff and Dave, who was really quiet, so when I got the beers in, I asked, like, 'who died?!' It turns out, his wife's on the way out, you know, so I'd really [dropped a bollock], but Dave said he was okay. He doesn't have the bollocks to say anything else; never has, but I knew Jeff would give me a right bollocking later on. We had a few pints and this dog's bollocks pie - we didn't get too bollocksed or anything, just a bit tipsy, you know. We went back into the office and my PC was up-and-running with that document intact, which bollocksed me a bit, but it's better than a [kick in the bollocks], I suppose. So, I went home, got in the shower and noticed a rash on my bollocks, [shit me up], that did. I came out to show Sam only to find Sam's mum sat there with a cup of tea, staring at me, bollock naked and dripping on the carpet. 'Bollocks,' I thought..."*
*(<http://bollocks.urbanup.com/824086>)* *9 more results*

-df pillock

**Pillock**: Noun for Idiot, fool. Originally a slang term for the penis but fairly inoffensive now its this meaning has been forgotten. [Derog]. [ref] [British Slang] Dictionary
*[You silly] [pillock], why did [you do that] for?*
*(<http://pillock.urbanup.com/1719>)* *9 more results*

-df plonker

**plonker**: dope, idiot, moron, wally, [pillock], [dunderhead], [dimwit]
*[You are] [such a] plonker, [Rodney].*
*(<http://plonker.urbanup.com/20405>)* *9 more results*

-df delboy

No result :(

-df geezer

**Geezer**: A geezer is a descriptive word in the UK which is used to define a mans characteristics. A geezer will be found usually out side a pub with a pint in his hand on match day. They commonly like football, scrapping, beer, tea, tits, and [Barry white]. [Geezers] often acknowledge other [geezers] by a greeting each other by saying geezer followed by a nod and a thumbs up.
*Nigel: Alright [geezer] how much is a can of [red stripe]
Charles: For you nothing my friend because your a top geezer
Nigel: arr Cheers [geeze] *nod* *thumbs up*

Charles: *nod* *thumbs up**
*(<http://geezer.urbanup.com/8145232>)* *9 more results*

-df del boy

**del boy**: Poor, ineffective [scam artist] or con-man. From the TV [sitcom], Only [Fools] and Horses.
*[Daves] a [proper] del boy.*
*(<http://del-boy.urbanup.com/554763>)* *9 more results*

Hope I'm having curry tonight

@angie!! what u having?

air

hi! @Pelth

Name is bond

Ha

James Bond

@angie!! are u poor

no

Prove it

@angie!! u can nearly have coke again soon

how tf do i prove it

Only a poor person would say that

^

@angie!! 1 more day to coke

frog shut before i make u my pet

Hm

I mean unless your are fasting or something

nah i just eat when i want to

not eating is usually a symptom of being broke

alright

so i’m not sure

not going to ask further

@angie!! coke chips

True broke symptom

Not eating

Sometimes I don't eat dinner because I'm not hungry if I eat my sandwich at home

@angie!! coke dinner

@angie!! coke dessert

@angie!! coke tea