Costco's removal of the $1.50 Polish hotdog, and its replacement with an Acai Bowl, is the clearest proof possible of the global conspiracy against virility.
To wit.
The hotdog. A firm, proud shaft of meat. It embodies the phallus, Priapus in his domain. Served with onions, the food of men.
Its day is done. Costco, at the behest of sinister forces, withdraws the meaty shaft. A symbolic emasculation of the food court, Priapic, bun-piercing frank deceased.
Its replacement? The acai bowl. A mons of yeasty oats and sickly fruit served in a yonic vessel.
This is the truth of it. The food court, formative, masculine bonding zone of the shopping ritual, unmanned by the withdrawal of the proffered meatshaft in lieu of the yonic yeast offering. An unmanned society is weak in war.
