Yep

Keep doing good partner stuff, providing, taking care etc but don't let her use you to emotionally masturbate

@Bodark Actual @Scr0m not to say you're opinions about the situatuon aren't valid. Maybe the tactics work for you, but sometimes people need validation, especially when they themselves are not in a good place. As humans we always seek validation of some kind, maybe consciously or subconsciously. Both men and women need validation. Giving validation when you can see it will have a positive effect on the overall situation. Sometimes people just need to hear it.

@jecc13 also a fair point. I dont disagree with that whatsoever. I think validation is important when it comes to things a lot. In my current emotional state it's just more of a drain than not and its hard to break that to be able to validate someone else

@jecc13 In fairness I'm finding a lot of personal validation in Patriot Wave that I haven't gotten elsewhere.

It's when you seek validation exclusively from others in your relationships and define yourself by them in an unhealthy way that them validating you is actually harmful

My wife used to do this with me constantly, she was v unhappy.

Stopped playing, now I have healthy motivated wife

So that's where I'm coming from w it

@Scr0m maybe that's a conversation to have with your partner then, and let her know that you are having an emotionally tough time and right now you need some time for you and maybe that could be the reason shes seeking validation, because she is seeing a difference in your emotional responses.

A little conversation supported by understanding on both parties goes a long way. The best thing you two can do is talk it out. This conversation should be exclusively between you two and what your needs are in a partnership. Sometimes relationships are 50-50 but sometimes they're 85-15. Your partner is supposed to be there for you and you there for them, if you're both having a tough time you can both support one another as best you can. Eliminating that aspect of conversation just puts you both in separate bubbles and makes you feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.

@Schadraquetor I'm glad you're getting validation from this group, I believe that is the whole purpose. Brotherhood.

@Scr0m above all fix whatever is causing you to feel unbalanced.

That's of imperative importance, if your shit isn't on lock it's gonna be 900x more difficult to manage your woman as well

Lift, read, level yourself up

@Bodark Actual I agree with you to a certain extent. You have to yourself be grounded before you can take on anything else. But sometimes that's where a partners support, validation and encouragement can help.

It's on you to become grounded, and tbh, if you're going to be an effective and strong man it's your job to create that for yourself and develop your confidence that way, yeah, having a supportive partner helps, but if you're going to be outcome independent then you can't let that define your ability to do that.

As men the greatest source of support you'll have for yourself is yourself, and the brothers you choose to surround you.

Your wife will default to seeking you for support, and you cannot lead her in a way that generates respect and trust if you're leaning on her to define your ability to stand on your own.

Ty for the advice everyone. I appreciate it

Np bud

@Bodark Actual its apparent that we have opposing viewpoints on relationship roles. That is absolutely okay with me I respect your viewpoints and you're entitled to them. I think that this was a productive conversation for @Scr0m and I hope that everything goes well for him. Glad we could help.

No worries fam, I have a pretty traditional view on how relationships work, always good to have two sides of things

@Bodark Actual absolutely!

My wife is on the trad train too and it works great for us

Which is, ultimately, my priority

my search for another woman has been tabled

it has cost me my emotional outlet, but has given me new strength to overcome my circumstances and become better

when I was in a relationship and everything was perfect, I lost motivation and got lazy about self care

@Bodark Actual and you two need to do whats best for you and what works for you!

@Bard good, working on making yourself a better man is the most rewarding pursuit

@Bard well I think its great you're working on yourself, and just know that you have everyone here in the discord rooting for you and as an outlet!

Got friendzone

For

Nothing

Thats what happened

>me in school
>see gal
>she says "hey, wanna talk to u. Meet me at *PLACE REDACTED* "
>(good vibes)
>think things are working out
>10 min later she comes
>heart bumping
>"its been a while, want to tell something"
>me: what
>"it was very sweet of you when you gave me gifts in valentines day, but im already in love with other guy, we can be friends tho"

Sorry to hear that dude.

We can be friends is fake news, cut her loose. Don't fawn over a woman who isnt into you.

Exactly

You can be my boog boi valentine instead

Fuck em

UWU

Still