I can pull over lol

Or hold the wheel with my leg or some shit.

news headlines

"devastating car crash cause by man fapping"

*3 lane vehicle pile up caused by local man who was masturbating to cartoon animals*
*injured but dead inside*

damn

Lol

@bdog
>because of the surgery
?

@Wagie McPoorfag
Yes. C-section.

@bdog I thought the C-Section happened 3 years ago?

Like for your stillborn kid?

@Deleted User
No. My son Ben. The one I had recently was done by c-section. Niko my first son that was stillborn was a emergency abortion.

Oh shit gratz.

I'm a c-section baby too.

>stillborn
Well it's a good thing I didn't let my autism get the best of me and answer right away

Would've said congrats

Nigger is 💪strong for a c-section baby. Tried changing his diaper and that dude kicked the shit out of my hand. Gonna kick my ass at 2 when its nap time and shit

Its cool wage

Kick his hand back, it's a sign of bonding.

As for your gf, why can't you guys just stimulate with hjs and stuff?

Kek
Nah. Ill wait till hes older and scare the shit out of him. Tell him a snapping turtle is in the basement like my uncle told me

Lol he'll probably just kick the shit out of the snapping turtle.

@Wagie McPoorfag
According to her doctor she can bleed excessively if she has any stimulation down there. Like a orgasm could split her shit open. And I think its not really fair if She gives me a handjob and I can't get her back

@Deleted User
Pfftf I was 16 and a linebacker in high school. I was still kinda sketched out that a fucking turtle will bite my ass

Oral?

Kek.

Shoulda kicked the shit out of the turtle like your boy.

😬 that sucks man. Well good luck with rubbing one out while driving. Will kek if you make evening news.

@Deleted User
You got any stories about being afraid as a real little kid? I just remember the turtle, the time I watched blair witch and the closet

Ever watched the Pee-wee Herman movie with Large Marge in it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPMSGTfK4Aw

Here's the clip.

Lol ya. Long ass time ago. Use to watch the show too. Why?

This fucking thing scared the hell out of me.

Lol the movie?

Nah, just that part.

I wasn't scared of movies when i was a kid.

I think Blair Witch came close cause some drunk dude tries to open my bedroom window when the credits started playing

In my head I knew movies were fake but when my window started to rattle and open I fucking believed I was fucked

What happened to the bum?

He ended up crawling through the window and when mom finally came with us back to our room she argued with him in the hallway. He thought it was his house and she had me and my brother call the police