I'd resort to fapping to swimsuit catalogs or draw my own shit

You'd see a black market for porn crop up overnight

*6 months federal prison for drawing furries*

I have a feeling a black market for porn would get so out of hand they'd have to just give up on it after a while

it's like banning alcohol, it doesn't fucking work

I agree.

you end up with a shit ton of new illegal shit, people homebrewing, smuggling, dealers

it doesn't work.

>porn smuggler
Kek

I havent fapped for weeks and my gf is horny as fuck and we cant fuck cause of the surgery. Can't fap cause I never have time to do it at home and aint got the privacy. About to pull a doggo and do it in my car on the way to work

o h

uh, maybe not the best idea?

I can pull over lol

Or hold the wheel with my leg or some shit.

news headlines

"devastating car crash cause by man fapping"

*3 lane vehicle pile up caused by local man who was masturbating to cartoon animals*
*injured but dead inside*

damn

Lol

@bdog
>because of the surgery
?

@Wagie McPoorfag
Yes. C-section.

@bdog I thought the C-Section happened 3 years ago?

Like for your stillborn kid?

@Deleted User
No. My son Ben. The one I had recently was done by c-section. Niko my first son that was stillborn was a emergency abortion.

Oh shit gratz.

I'm a c-section baby too.

>stillborn
Well it's a good thing I didn't let my autism get the best of me and answer right away

Would've said congrats

Nigger is 💪strong for a c-section baby. Tried changing his diaper and that dude kicked the shit out of my hand. Gonna kick my ass at 2 when its nap time and shit

Its cool wage

Kick his hand back, it's a sign of bonding.

As for your gf, why can't you guys just stimulate with hjs and stuff?

Kek
Nah. Ill wait till hes older and scare the shit out of him. Tell him a snapping turtle is in the basement like my uncle told me

Lol he'll probably just kick the shit out of the snapping turtle.

@Wagie McPoorfag
According to her doctor she can bleed excessively if she has any stimulation down there. Like a orgasm could split her shit open. And I think its not really fair if She gives me a handjob and I can't get her back

@Deleted User
Pfftf I was 16 and a linebacker in high school. I was still kinda sketched out that a fucking turtle will bite my ass

Oral?

Kek.

Shoulda kicked the shit out of the turtle like your boy.

😬 that sucks man. Well good luck with rubbing one out while driving. Will kek if you make evening news.

@Deleted User
You got any stories about being afraid as a real little kid? I just remember the turtle, the time I watched blair witch and the closet