Yeah

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No worries fam

Remember to work the feelings away. The moment you finish school, start working. Dont take summer breaks now, you wouldn't want to get behind in the rat race. You'll be dead of heart disease after wasting your life away paying for a shitty house that'll fall apart before you're done paying it off! **Enough sarcasm though**, im fucking sick of the fact i've had no free time to do something i enjoy or have time to have a hobby for years. Cant wait until i get shit on for posting something slightly vulnerable in an enviroment where there's a group of people that are chomping at the bit for that kind of shit. Im worrying to much, though

My outlet to relive stress only stresses me out. No wonder im getting fucking heartbeat abnormalities.

Man I’m sorry you haven’t had any free time,

It's fine fam, and I'm sorry to hear that you rarely have time for doing something you enjoy. Hope you can get checked for the heart issues

And stress is a fucking huge ass monster with gaping wide mouths

I got checked a few days ago when i posted my vitals

Sadly im not into vore

Hope it gets better soon

Haha, its only going to get worse. I've got no choice.

Well just try to take it easy when you can.

Maybe sometime next year i'll have the pleasure of a few days of just vidya or some shit where i dont have to worry about every little thing i have to do.

I’m sorry about that it sounds so fucked

My worst experience is having pneumonia and being in a hospital bed for a month

I took summer classes in high school and i started college 1 week after i graduated. Not even. It just feels like forever and you're constantly running away from the boogeyman.

Then they scanned me and realized their heart monitors were wrong and nothing was wrong with me, and they still charged me so

I’m sorry man

That feels like a shitty time all around

I cant fuckin afford to be sick for a week, i'd be totally fucked bigtime

Why's that?

No need to go into detail if you're not comfortable

Yeah like, that’s why I like in a sketch apartment lmao

Remember no ones forcing you to be open in this channel

Yeah

My girlfriend would starve. My grades would be unrecoverable. I'd have to miss payments on shit that i owe. It would set any hopes of free time or relaxing off by at least 4 months.

I've got a monster breathing down my neck called "My girlfriend's parent (other died a year ago, accually..) and brother smoke shit thats illegal (do the math) and risk the fact that she could go into a foster home or worse within 48 hours" and there's nothing i can fucking do about it except work and toil and do cardio + melatonin before i sleep otherwise the shit will keep me up at night and i wont fucking sleep

And I cant do any other job and the current job i have barely keeps up with the shit that i owe and need to spend money on

I try to be chill here, i try to be chill around people, but inside i feel corrupted to the bone with stress that i can't just "relax" or "meditate" away.

Goddamn, and it started creeping in right after i finished getting over my post-traumatic stress. All i got from the therapist was "wa wo wo wa" charlie brown talk fuckin hear yourself talk it'll make you feel better that's right.

So i straight up stopped going once i saw that pattern

Im sorry if i've gotten a bit on edge if you ever bring weed up @noobypropmaker I'm really trying.

It's fine fam

And I'm sorry to hear about what you've been dealing with, can't really give a proper response in this situation in all honesty

There's no good way out. There's no way out.

Just gotta get through it and then the next shit will happen, and then the next shit happens and i'll be doing this forever.

I'm a thin-skinned bitch sometimes because god fucking damnit, if some weird conflict or civil war accually happened EVERYTHING i work for and stress so goddamn much over would mean nothing.

I've already flushed 3 years of hard effort down the toilet and i dont wanna do that again.

I understand that feeling, was one i felt repeatedly a while ago. Again i know i can't really say or do anything but best thing i can say is try to be more open about this sort of stuff when you can, sometimes letting all this out like you are right now can help a little

Hope things can get better for you and your gf