Message from @Crusader
Discord ID: 606689976943378463
This is proof alchemy exists
It’s how soyboys have survived
They simply took the bath water from gamer girls and turned it into an elixir of immortality
Wow based, I'm gonna do that now
Hmmm
Based
Redpilled
I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go.
After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.
wtf
I believe that Masturbation is wrong, however it can be justified in certain extreme circumstances. I will examine several scenarios and determine their wrongness
Scenario 1: I jerk off to my crushes Instagram pics
Is this a sin: Yes
This is a sin because I am committing lust, a sexual act, on someone who did not consent. I am thus stealing her humanity and reducing her to a sexual object.
Scenario 2: I jerk off to a porn actress
Is this a sin: It might be
I am committing lust unto the actress, however she did imply consent by uploading the video to a porn website specifically meant for masturbation.
Scenario 3: I jerk off to my own imagination
Is this a sin: No
Since I am using my own imagination, I am become a creator and a dreamer, just like God himself. By putting myself in God's position I can better understand the Bible. Not only is this a non-sin, it may be spiritually healthy.
Scenario 4: I fuck a sex robot
Is this a sin: Yes
The Robot, is not a human being, and since I am having sex with it, I am implying that human love can be obtained by objects, or that objects and humans have the same value. This is insulting to God's creation and thus a sin.
Scenario 5: I jerk off to gay porn
Is this a sin: maybe
On one hand, homosexuality is a sin and the actors in the video are sinning. But, they did imply consent to me jerking off by uploading it to a porn website. But is it a sin to masturbate to sin? Perhaps God appreciates me only jerking off instead of asking out a boy in real life. Or maybe I'm deluding myself.
Scenario 6: I jerk off to myself in the mirror
Is this a sin: No
I am a good looking guy and I occasionally jerk off to myself. I'm sure other boys in my grade have jerked off to me as well. I consent to myself masturbating to myself and I am a human worthy of love, there is thus nothing wrong with this. @tela
why
apologies for the wall of text
beat that
beat this
Both of you need to shut the fuck up
Black people aren’t real though
@Notso that France is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen
Man I hate the French
Absolutely
Anglos 🤝 Germans
hating the French
Yep
liberturdians btfo
Never saw a German person saying AC is stupid lmao
AC is based
^
Though I heard spaniards are against it more
This is a joke right? @Deleted User