imagine her doing a fake forced ahegao face to try and be sexy but she's actually soulless and dead inside

that makes me rock hard

duuuuude

Yeah anyway

I forgot how boobs feel

bags of sand

sorry can't go to work today, balls full

Can't come into work today I'm having a male crisis

Can't come into work today I can't find my ummmmm [blow into phone for fake static then hang up]

my memories.... boob..... butt....I don't remember.......

Can't Come Into Work Today I'm Going To Do Something I Am Going To Regret And Your Not Gonna Like It

I've seen things you coomers wouldn't believe. Art hoes covered in cum off the streets of Barnard. I watched whores glitter in the dark near the Golden Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to cum.

wish i knew where to meet art hoes irl

The best way to call off work is by writing your boss a haiku

Today I feel like that guy from office space movie adolph hitler

neat

Local college lmao

How it goes gob

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkAUOnI_zi0>

conrad pull up mr brightside on repeat for etenity

steal your seed

practice semen retention boys

steal your sneed

do not be their protein source

i dont avoid women

but i do deny them my seed

my essence

voluntarily i hope

i have a gf she just hasnt earned my premium seed yet

premium feed + seed

https://tenor.com/view/pumping-iron-arnold-schwarzenegger-workout-fitness-gym-gif-15067525

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DI6x3SwORU

what about your feed

had a dream last night the russian govt arrested me for visiting a place full of terrorists

then it turned out i was the terrorist and together we summoned a giant imhotep from the mummy movie to perform blood magic

looks like you were arrested for a reason

sounds like