<:thonk:288060975775612929>

Wanna tell us something matt?

I've been edging for the past hour so that I can have amazing sex with gf

but other than that, no

>comes in under three seconds anyways

📽

sex speedrun any% wr

run starts at 0:01

You fools.

Don't you realize how calloused and numb my dick is from years and years of masturbating to Princess Peach?

I can last forever.

>can't get hard unless she wears a pink dress
>blond wig
>bakes you a pie

>gets captured by cosplaying neighbour in a ninja turtle suit

Joke's on you, she's blonde to begin with.

I'm sure she passed some of that blondness to you too

Sorry, bud. That's not how genetics work. We aren't ALL inbred like you.

Yeah, my parents had me after the two families became one after they married

https://tenor.com/tdqz.gif

>Sen is slowly fading into the aether as discord prepares to ban him again

I'm still here

Physically

(In the internet sense)

But not mentally

<:turt:443131018950606878>

>that moment of panic when you make eggs and you are sure you used the olive oil but then see the quart of motor oil beside it

<:blobthinkingfast:427569198886027264>

oil is oil

This is true

- some chink street vendor

At least your organs will run quieter and longer

I also make eggs when I panic tbh

I really need to move that bottle

Which one? The actual oil bottle, the motor oil bottle or the bottles of booze stockpiling in-between these two?

Yes

Did you drink today, John?

Don't lie!

😊

No, stop asking me.

He probably mistook the motor oil for whiskey and had some