not sure why shes in parenthesis

Okay boomer

He got his wife's son gift cards

lol

oof

But seriously, what'd you get her?

Gift cards probably

that's why he got defensive about it

a crystal bauble from svarovsky, a coat, and some sunglasses she had her eye on

Are you taking her to 12am Mass before you allow her to open any of her gifts?

not religious

so no

Baubles. Bitches love baubles.

So why are you celebrating Christ's Birth?

great question

Because I get to decorate the corpse of a tree. That's why.

why did a bring a tree into my house and put lights on it?

Are you turning the day of our Lord into some commercial hedonistic heresey?

Yes

yes

The church allows trees because they decided they're just pine.

Hedonistic Heresy is a great band name

It doesn't really affect anything one way or the other..

>is a great band name

I don't really go fir those kind of jokes

***OOF!***

Tree-t yourself right and give it a try

If you don't try it you woodn't know it you'd like it

you can't fix fundamentally flawed jokes by just trying to spruce them up

Oh boy

Yeah well if you have such a grinchy attitude why don't you sit on a pinecone?

Oak, I will

I knew you had one ready, so I wasn't going out on a limb.

Fucking twigger like you... I knew it... I knew it...

sorry, my son needed help with something

You mean your seed.

The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree...

Quit trying to needle me with tree puns

I'm just trying to root out your issues.

You're soiling this chat

I've conifered with the others and we want you to stop