And that is never gonna be easy nor instant - I'm 28 and **still** have *too much* work to do.

But breaking down the parts of things that make me feel bad - changing what I can in and around that chunk - and then making the next chunk my bitch, too, has helped me build stairs to crawl out from where I was.

But my staircase and your staircase are separated - I can only tell you how to lay the blocks.

You have to make them.

thanks

sorry but i dunno what to say

i need to think about it

No - it's okay man - I honestly don't know how to explain or if I gave you anything to work with.

Honestly, I have never dealt with anything *close* to your situation.

But in all of MY shit - and worst moments - I've found the only way to keep climbing is to convince yourself you have to - and to remind yourself you only have your own hands and feet.

It helps when / if other people are able / willing to help, for sure.

But in the end, you're the only person you got at 3a.

yeah, for sure

Just offering my insight - I like you a lot dude - I wanna see you come out on top

thanks folk

appreciate it, m8

just lookin out

but im pretty fucked up

We're all fucked.

It's all fucked.

I just wanted to pipe in and ramble because, like I said, I can't trust anyone to do or mean anything they say - and because people have been saying ""look on the bright side"" my whole life, and I've developed a pretty deep running fear that whatever's ""wrong"" with me ( and my negative outlook ) isn't ""fixable"".

But I can ""fix me"" ( or try ) until my own company is at least tolerable in this mess.

Because I can't stress enough how important or how hard it is to value and take care of **yourself**, *first*.

can't say we're all fucked

some are, some don't

but sure i am

X to doubt - if I've learned anything, it's that we're all dealing with some fucked up aspect of this mess or another

Just be careful with **math** because numbers can be **decisive**

of course we're all dealing with problems

but doesn't mean everyone has the same problems

some have worst problems than others

No - but if everything *is* fucked, then we're all dealing with symptoms of it - ergo we're **all** fucked

Not all as much as others or vice versa - we're all dealing with different shit, for sure.

yeah sort of

Great year so far

Guess what

got the news my uncle just died

I'm so sorry dude. . .

ty

I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died a few days ago as well, it is hard to cope with at times but as long as they arent suffering

sorry about that

Appreciate it. How are you holding up?

A bit shocked, but I'll feel worse in a minute notice

Hang in there, its tough, but think how our loved ones would want us to feel

we're all sad

specially my cousins

he was 63