trying to bang an ultra christian girl. Suddenly comes up and tells me she wants to stay clean until marriage

can you dispense a papal bull for me or something

RIP

or give me some bible verses or something

pls help

@Sergio Bosque, so, why don't you marry her?

@Sergio Bosque Do you wanna know what I did to chorizo this time.

@Benedict XVII no. pls another suggestion

@大魔女ラムダデルタ i am not sure if i want to

There are some good verses in Psalms

Also

The song "Only the good die young" by Billy Joel is basically you right now

@Sergio Bosque, if you're not ready to make that commitment, then you are not ready for bunga bunga.

lol

Before you other weirdoes ask yes I do exist only to annoy Sergio with my awful terrible British food.

I'm Canadian, I guarantee our food is worse

On the other hand adding apricot jam, tomatoes and onions to chorizo actually worked as a pasta sauce.

benedict i am very ready for bunga bunga

The only thing we have is Poutine and that's French so it doesn't count

pls give me a psalm or something

Dude

Just read Psalms

It's all poetry anyhow

Don't make someone else do your legwork

Are there fuckpsalms or something.

@Sergio Bosque - Song of Solomon would be the what you're looking for.

Also goddamn do I have to find my bible (by which I mean go back down the M4 for a while) just to quote things at you.

Eh... there are parts of psalms that, IIRC are pretty much just Solomon waxing poetic about sex.

Goddamn it Solomon.

The man had hundreds of concubines

You do demonic shit then get to this.

Fuck's sake.

Petition for biblical figures to stick to defeating demons and committing mass murder pls.

@Sétanta, not really. The Song of Solomon is about the love of God. He just uses the love of a man and woman as a metaphor for it.

I mean, that's certainly an interpretation

i'm down for any interpretations of the bible that lead to me laughing manically about how the bible is just about sex in front of Jehovah's witnesses.

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/328901988756750337/493097345731526676/333bc4d.jpg

Also apricot jam improved my pasta sauce.

Ezekiel 23:20 is pretty good for that, @大魔女ラムダデルタ

Thanks.

song of solomon