It's a bitch but. You gotta chase your dreams for you. Not for anyone else

And knowing when you get through there, you'll loose your own life?

Explain

Gosh, think I'll freak out

Brb

Forget about it

Now you got me concerned mate

No need

Hm

I want to talk about something but it's really hard

But you guys seem to have my back, and I know I got yours

Things aren't all great between Emma and I

She and I found out about the baby after we went through a terrible breakup

She did something that really betrayed my trust in her and I did something that betrayed hers

I hate myself for it, to the core

Most nights I cry myself to sleep because of how bad I feel

I'm ready to forgive her and get things back on track

Shes having a hard time doing the same

Things have been really, really awkward

Whenever we talk about the baby, we feel good and things seem great but when we try to talk about us, it's not so much

I want to reignite that spark in her; that passion she had for me

I want to get her to come to the decision that this is worthwhile and that we can work past all our shit

She's trying to figure out how I can do that, but she just doesn't know

Each day that we don't is torture though

I'm getting frustrated and not coping well

I don't know what I can do

I could use the support of my brothers right now

Fuck me

I'm to be honest right now

This sound really bad

It is

I hate myself every day for what I did; she and I function in what you might refer to as an alternative relationship structure. We had some ground rules and I broke them when she broke my trust... and in turn, i broke her trust...

She's constantly thinking about how she can get past things

She wants to

But it's like she's ready to do a HALO jump

But can't bring herself to acknowledge the green light

Did you tried theraphy?

I'm in therapy actually

But she's not ready to go with me

I'm looking for suggestions as to how I can encourage her mind to take this opportunity with me again

I mean, y'all must've had relationships before where you've fucked up and had to do something important to fix it