like to become emotionless to the world around ya find a gola and do everything to achive that. you want have time to think

@DAnteForneus maybe that im emotionless prick who make everyone mad and feel nothing about it

but idk thats kind a deep emotional shit

and im trying to help ya but im not realy comapsioned i count i do science and when i do that i see that emotions and feels are just bumch of chemical and psychical reactions

yea they are i tried getting rid of emotions but it won't help

with out them you are living like a robot

with out them whats is point of living?

@DAnteForneus achiving goals

watch this movie

it helped me with feels

i learned that scoring a gola is ultimate value

and any other things doesnt matter when you on a way to achive that

i only live for shit like this for ardenaline rush that first kiss with loveone gives happenes that you did something great

find a goal

small one at first like climbing local hill

then go bigger like geting promotion

then bigger

and so on so one

and push forward without looking at people

trust me i stoped carring about ppl

i hate most of them just for being themself

almost everyone of them is acting like fucking npc in skyrim

man im acting like npc irl like go to school go home study sleep repeat

that give you immunity to the world around ya

acting like one doesn't mean you are one

i do that to thats how we need to live to not to be outcast from society

and to be hostest i stoped carring about that

im outcast like dont have real friends

i started to like being alone

yep we are in the same stage like sitting alone with headphones is better option tha talking with ppl in my class

(i mean of isolation not problems of live)

have you got dreams about doing mass shooting or other fucked up shit?

nope

i don't really remember what happends in my dreams

if i remember they are nightmares

like some strong dreams are mostly connected with sufering or makeing others suffer

and ends up the same

i wake up

and start doing my shit

and then another one