Message from @mcguyver123
Discord ID: 658861737856204840
Alright.
So as most of you know or can infer or can guess, I'm going through quite a bit ( quite a bit I've set up for myself to go through - so don't worry, I got it ).
BUT. I've been living in the same spot for roughly, 4 years now?
it took a few months, maybe even a year or two, before I started dreaming about the area. I live in a town at the end of a peninsula ; one road goes in, that same road comes out. All other sides of the town are surrounded by water.
Now, up until 2 nights ago, all my dreams have been the same, or very close ( same run-away themes, same scenes, same people, just different flavor each night, or rather, each time I can remember ). It's almost *always* one of three things ;
- I'm waiting for a boat to catch a boat for a smaller boat to meet a smaller boat etc ( literally. I dream of going somewhere, waiting at a City-Sized ferry port, and after 2 or 3 different boat trips, I'm waiting onna""*pier*"" which is dead center middle of the water on some great big lake. I know WHICH lake - I know EXACTLY where in my head I'm pretending to be. But this lake features NO ferries or ""public transit"" boating. For the record : **I never get my last boat.**
- I'm travelling up and down, back and forth, endlessly, the peninsula. All 15 miles up the road innavic, and then I'm either sand-bombing beaches and crashing beach fires the way back. In some dreams I'm escaping or dodging people to get in to town to a specific spot. In others, I'm just going to every party up, and then every party down the stretch. Sometimes I'm hiding, or island hopping ( really distinct dreams of the nearby Archipelago being washed out and [ mostly ] ankle deep water - for some reason, I often have to check and touch every island as part of some weird patrol ). Even though town is much bigger IRL, my head always compacts it down to 2 blocks, and a shanty of shacks - but IRL it's all fancy houses. For the record : **I never know what the fuck I'm *supposed* to be doing**.
( I have broken the limit - here comes the rest )
Then there's this third fucking dream.
Now, if I haven't *already*, let me emphasize that the dreams I have ( and KEEP having ) about this place are painted with a **very** broad brush. Some nights it's in FULL color detail. Sometimes, what is actually a 2 mile drive annafuckaround dreams up as a whisp. I'm pretty sure that's how dreams go. But.
For the past 2 nights ( read : **The past 2 days where shit has been going down**, drama waise ) it's *vivid*
Any medical change? Medicine? Trauma? Someone introduced in your life?
- I'm not waiting for a boat or meeting any pier connections. I'm not travelling back and forth endlessly, up n down the coast. The other night is blurry, but I know that most of what I dreamt *last* night is a **repeat** of that *other* night. For whatever reason, I'm supposed to be keeping tabs on where who is when ( G o d . How I wish that were actually my job ). And when I get down to the beach, to call on some 2 persons we're missing, I find them. And it turns out our BBQ has to be dug out from the sand ( apparently someone was cooking last night, and left the grill for the over night tide). Fine. Whatever. I go back and come with a small ditsy shovel, trying to rescue it from this *perfectly straight **trench*** along the beach. I never know if I ever dig it out or not. . .
Ehhh - I've done some extra drugs ( psychs included ) that have shifted some big parameters in terms of how I see everything in my life rn, but nothing like, LIFE changing. Just notes.
No medicinal changes - drinking and smoking significantly less.
No new people - I mean, they're ALL *ALWAYS* new people in and around where I work - but no one SHAKING my core.
No new trauma - I mean, I lost a relationship of 2 years on - off - but that's not a surprise.
Anywhow.
Before I can verify or check or ensure that whatever I did at the beach was done, I bump into and meet ( at least ) 2 people done up like pirates. And they have a fucking GALLEY. and it's parked AT THE BEACH.
( MFR I swear I was supposed to CLEAN the beach for the arrival of this fucking GALLEON )
I'm not gonna get too in to details here, but there's a period of a few days ( in dream ) where I'm sorting out land logistics ( packing - running round - whatever else ) a
and then there's a long ass period about going off, and being with the people on this boat, and doing boaty things
There are parts I'm skimming that I can't remember right this second - but I swear, to the best of my knowledge, Squib is the captain.
And this is *The Boat*.
But I'm gonna be flashin through it in my head for a while looking for symbolism, now that you mention death. . .
I've had dreams about the river styx. To be honest I think it referenced change of life.
Welcome aboard crab?
idk man - sounds like my skittery ass needs to run around and sort out some land shit first. . .
The only reason I can think of this ship popping up all of a sudden is. . .
. . . There's not *as much left* that I have to get done. . .
Word. Could be. Maybe you've got stuff you want to handle locally, but feel like leaving too. Like.... you have obligations "at home" but want a change of pace too
Well, here's the fun part. . .
I pretty much ( and yes Kings, this is NOT how you do it ) sabotaged my relationship.
SPECIFICALLY to open up my future tbh.
I could have just left her - I took some much harsher avenues - but I really couldn't stay with someone who kept telling me about ""how excited they are to spend the next 5+ years together""
Nah bruh, I've had that option too. Sometimes it just happens that way. The sabatage.
Ah. It happens man. Done it in the past myself
Yeah. Exactly.
"" *Babe, I'm sorry, but if you don't like guns, and you won't grow your hair out, and you have a career in mind, then kindly let me go **b 0 0 l***. ""
But she wouldn't even let me talk about it. . .
Good choice to leave then
Things ( why am I rambling THIS ) fell off about a month ago, when I tried to come down on her ( HARD ) about how badly I needed my own space.
And she sort of just took it personally, said "You have a lot to process. And you need someone to talk to."
Okay.
*You're Not. WRONG.*
but that's one wild fucking way of saying "" I don't wanna listen to your personal shit anymore ""
Word
sounds like severe incompatibility if anti gun
For the past several weeks "Hey lol, doomer shit"
"that sounds shitty"
"wow I'm sorry to hear that"
"that must be tough"