Barbecue sauce all over my tiddies

My foot is still stuck in the midgets mouth

The drag queen still has half a pie left to eat

And I think old man Quimby had a stroke

No homo but full homo, we're getting married so I can steal your tricare for that one

;) I'm down, you're cute

GAAAAYYY lol

No u

Yes u

Ive been drinking a little and listening to cryptids

Nice

Hence the need for ninja stories

Actually

I have a story

I just bought 80 dollars worth of alcohol and plan on getting fucking fucked up Friday and Saturday

Nice

Let's hear it @Hellhound6

My stories are all really fucked up and hazy because they were coked up psycho trailer park nightmares, or they're just boring because there isn't much to em

So no shit there I was with my noy

Boy*

We were bored as shit, just come off the line, nothing to fucking do besides head to the local bar that we "liberated"

We walk in and at the time it was relatively dead besides a few scattered groups of slightly uninformed individuals. (Locals hadn't really shown up yet)

I'm sittinf there minding my fucking business when some big ass burly Slav slams into me. He starts raising hell in his nickel language.

So I calm finish my drink, turn to him and yell "I DONT SPEAK AUSTITIC COMMIE" proceeded to punch this dude and to my surprise, he just fucking ate it.

Well big ass brawl starts out and this is when I'm literally picked up and thrown out of a fucking door by a 6f2ish probably 300lbs muscular Slavic gorilla

I have never felt so god damned small in my life

Long story short, pick your battles wisely

I dont speak autistic commie. That needs to be a regular saying

I can only imagine the look on your face after you threw that punch and nothing happened lol

Mixture of horror and "oh shit of fuck oh shit"

Nah - I feel the "*Oh - you're picking me up now - and we're moving. . . **and there's nothing I can do.***" way too hard. . .

I mean I tried

same

but

But I'm literally 5ft6 my dude

I'm 5'11~6

but

you've seen those doxy bois 👀

Truth

I bought a shit load of chicken actually

but I don't have a private freezer - current logsitics are a bitch