Message from @Krelin
Discord ID: 455346678871097344
Ohhhhhh okay yeah I get you
You're afraid of being vulnerable to someone and them not caring for you anymore
yup
Understandable
But it's something you have to risk
no
Yes
No
You can't make me..
You're not my momma
Dude it'll be worth it
And that's coming from the man with the broken heart
Well, again, I'm not too well mentally to begin with.
So, I really don't want to go into a relationship until I have at least some of that under control.
How so?
Like, real talk, I genuinely hate myself.
That's just how I feel.
And I think negatively a lot.
Dude why?
I mean, I don't like certain parts of myself and I used to hate myself
I've had this negative opinion of myself for a while, probably started off as self depricating humor and spiraled out of control to the point where I started to believe my own jokes
i feel that irl my attitude just annoys people and feel like a burden to peole.
To me it was the other way around
No wait, I actually remember now.
People said mean things to me and then I'd just use self depricating humor to get out
I didn't do so well in school and I felt like a dissapointment to my parents for not doing as well as I should have, now that I actually thought about it.
Then whenever I made one of those jokes around my ex she'd glare at me or say 'please don't say that'
I doubt you disappointed your parents, that's hard to do
no, but considering my parents wanted me to do well, and when I didn't meet expectations, it just made me feel the most horrible feeling of self-loathing i've felt, and I've never really gotten a hold of it.
It pretty much comes and goes depending on whatever circumstances I find myself into + how my mind decides to perceive these situations.
Like I go through periods of times where I just don't want to be anywhere, and then after a while, it just goes away, and everything is okay-ish.
Your parents have expectations, but they also want you to be happy
However cheesy that sounds
All my parents want is for me to be independent and happy
Yes they'd prefer it if I was the head manager of a bank or something, but they're happy if I'm happy, and I'm sure your parents are the same
Probably?
I don't know sometimes.
I feel like they rather see me be doing well first before I feel happy, but I don't know. I'm not a good people reader.
And it's probably something my state of mind is making up anyway.
Then talk to them you dolt
I'm not sounding like a victim am I?