I sideboarded in a tech card before the match started

square

0_0

the thing is, I never drew it

what made u admit to such a crime

I then opened a foil planeswalker with the prize packs

did u feel

*guilty*

was it

worth it

yes actually, I sold it for $50

nice

thx

50 bucks for cheating

👏

Oh no, if you were a c-section baby, you're gonna have some bad respiratory issues....

Bitch, I was choking in there.

Of course I had to be cut out.

oh

No, I was c-sectioned because my mom was so numbed out by epidurals and stuff that she couldn't feel any contractions or whatever.

So, I was reluctant and ready at the same time.

well atleast ur alive

and well?

But I was in there with the following: an enlarged gallbladder, a shitload of amniotic fluid, and I was living inside an egg that shouldn't have even responded to any kind of sperm.

My mom wasn't supposed to have kids.

Because she let herself go and became overweight, which can cause infertility...

hue hue

https://scontent-arn2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17990806_10208902564789290_4339063385537879285_n.jpg?oh=850feef3eaa0cb3ba193253c753eee43&oe=598A588A

Oh, and it hasn't gotten better.

Fatter than the pictures of her when I was born.

And it was also speculated that she ate psychedelic mushrooms.

That's volume 1 of why I despise her...

Why would you do that? Why would you eat something considered a drug while I was still being pieced together by the power of biology?

@Toxic I'm sorry to hear that

I'm glad it didn't do anything crazy.

Well just be glad you're alive in this world. There's a lot of beautiful things out there

wait despise ur mom?

I even hated her when I was 1 or 2, because I never allowed that son of a bitch to feed me her tit.

I would bite the shit out of it.

Lol

I was that way too apparently but my mom said it was because I was just being a naughty baby