>i promise

trust me

im a doctor

okay handfag

in a "I don't need my dick snapped off when she jerks me off" way

ye exactly

in the 'no dead hookers under the floorboards officer' way

wait wat

Ok. But just imagine how big your tiny cock is going to look in those midget hands.

the opposite!

knew this was coming

that's what ice storages are for

smh

her pinky will be wider than my dicc

<:why:462286147473637407>

breaking your perfect floor board

You raw spaghetti dicked somnabitch

'i dont need your dirty hole, i'll make my own'

Next relationship, I'll be sure to pretend to be broken as fuck, wait- I'm divorced and midlife, don't have to pretend.

i probably was a bit too young to read necroscope

https://tenor.com/view/seriously-sideeye-confused-gif-8776030

I knew a guy in high school that stuck a stick of raw spaghetti up his urethra.
It snapped.
He had to go to hospital.

of course it snapped wtf was he expecting

Dude stfu

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/580709234451283978/621079773472620572/trigger.gif

Lmao

oof

He just needed to pee until the spaghetti got soft, what a puss

he needed to get someone to boil his piss

Yeah but how is he supposed to get the red sauce up there?

fuck a bitch on her period

like male kegels man

dont you know?

Obviously not

or fuck a bitch on her period works too

I don’t put things in my pisshole

🤷‍♂️

good.

me neither.

I only put cocaine up my pisshole

Anyways