Then he's a dick

Lie is best

*grabs both pills before Morpheus responds* Matrix: BSODs.

if keanu took the blue pill

he would have instead a career as a b-tier dude bro actor

The system would've crashed if he blue pilled

In one reality Neo took the blue pill, and the story ended.

What if he banged Sandra when he had the chance?

neo was a based volcel

The Architect scene woulda been better if one of the screens were empty.

Smith was The One

i have a can of chili i want to eat but i accidentally bought one without the pop top

how do i open this without a can opener?

"And in *this* iteration you took the blue pill. We still don't know what happened there."

Got a swiss army knife?

Knife it viscously!

i have knives but not anything with a can openr

Hammer and flathead

Be careful, though.

stab the top edge with thick knife

He's not delidding a CPU

then slowly slice the top off along the line

Get a bigger hammer, then.

im gonna get metal shards in my chili arent i?

And the answer is just microwave it, the pressure will open the can

Great, I now have Hotel California in my head.

that one sounds the easiest

nah grab like a .22 or a pellet gun and snipe the top off

tfw no ICE gf

And shatter the microwave.

ICEbae

Microwaving a sealed metal container is a bad idea.

what if we mircrowave a stick of dynamite

she can give me a deep cavity search any day

maybe thats just what the can opener lobby wants you to think

If you have a circular saw or dremel

maybe its the best idea

Microwaving an explosive is also a bad idea.

*dang it*

Sorry to be a buzzkill.

FORBIDDEN C4 CHEESE