Generally, behavioral shifts that happen quickly like that aren't a great sign. But no, expecting your home to be treated in a more respectful manner than if you were just hanging out in a cafe isn't being an asshole. On the other hand, he might just have trouble reaching out or figuring out boundaries. Odd, but not ill will.

yeah

ive been trying for a few days now to set a boundary like "today we will not hang out, we will hang out tomorrow"

but every time ive said that hes come over anyway

and ive given him like cursory attention, like hung out with him for a few minutes outside

but ive relented a few times and let him hang out inside for a while

and i mean the last two times he came over it was with some pretty flimsy excuses

like he wanted to show me a light he wired, and he wanted to use one of my tools to cut a circuit card

Hello everypony

and i think hes just lonely or something

i tell him "yo man you need more friends"

and thats like a pretty blatant hint you know

but hes like "i dont need friends"

and its like

no you do

i need you to have more friends

its sad i need to figure out what his issue is

this isnt normal

Yeah, unless there is something outside of that influencing him to not want to be where he would normally be. Age makes a difference here. A teenager might be having issues at home, a young man might be struggling to connect with people socially. An older guy, it's almost always a loss of some kind (in my experience.

Also, hello Dotty

yeah hes about 32 i think

im 35

i dont know of any losses hes had

i was thinking that too

Right, that's a tougher one then.

like that he had some kind of loss but i cant think what

i know hes isolated, im isolated as well

he keeps asking if we can move in together like in round about ways

"if i got a big house with a lot of rooms would you want to rent one?"

and its like nah dude i have a house

i think hes hit some kind of existential wall

where he realizes he will probably live alone in isolation forever

i hit that wall too but i like being alone

thats also a huge part of the problem here

i like being alone

he has about 10 pets

birds and fish and dogs etc

i dunno

oh well whatever

ill try to figure something out

Yeah, loneliness hits hard when you get to that point where you realize you're essentially stuck in it and can't find your way out. That'd be the explanation I'd put down to it. But yeah, good luck trying to get him to realize that. It's hard to break through to people who feel that dread. It sucks because it pushes people away, which is exactly the opposite of the goal.