i need you to have more friends

its sad i need to figure out what his issue is

this isnt normal

Yeah, unless there is something outside of that influencing him to not want to be where he would normally be. Age makes a difference here. A teenager might be having issues at home, a young man might be struggling to connect with people socially. An older guy, it's almost always a loss of some kind (in my experience.

Also, hello Dotty

yeah hes about 32 i think

im 35

i dont know of any losses hes had

i was thinking that too

Right, that's a tougher one then.

like that he had some kind of loss but i cant think what

i know hes isolated, im isolated as well

he keeps asking if we can move in together like in round about ways

"if i got a big house with a lot of rooms would you want to rent one?"

and its like nah dude i have a house

i think hes hit some kind of existential wall

where he realizes he will probably live alone in isolation forever

i hit that wall too but i like being alone

thats also a huge part of the problem here

i like being alone

he has about 10 pets

birds and fish and dogs etc

i dunno

oh well whatever

ill try to figure something out

Yeah, loneliness hits hard when you get to that point where you realize you're essentially stuck in it and can't find your way out. That'd be the explanation I'd put down to it. But yeah, good luck trying to get him to realize that. It's hard to break through to people who feel that dread. It sucks because it pushes people away, which is exactly the opposite of the goal.

right

i mean im happy to hang out with him

if he calls first

and i say ok

it would probably still be like an hour or two a day

come over, have a coke, watch a movie, whatever

but this idea that like at any time hes gonna be at the door

and kinda desperate about it

it sucks because i feel like i have to create more distance than i want with him because it seems like no matter how much i create hes going to try to close it

the only time ive ever acted like that was when i was obsessed over a chick when i was like 17

any excuse for conversation, any excuse to meet

etc

dude is straight though

well whatever i hope he doesnt kill himself hes gotta learn to be self contained after 10:30 pm tho

Yep. It's essentially that same process. It's just increasingly disconcerting as the person gets older. Don't have the experience of them dropping by the house all the time. That'd get old quick. Does he acknowledge when you try and create distance?